Heir to McDowell: Remastered
by ShadowBlade40
Summary: A blonde chibi vampire has far too much time on her hands, so she attempts to travel to a parallel world. Landing in a world filled with ninja's, she finds one interesting egg to train and become her heir. Rewriten with Engineer4Ever's permission! Godlike Dark FemNaruto with yuri harem!
1. Chapter 1

**Warning:**

**This story is basically a crackfic**

**It'll have a good amount of stupid shit**

**gore ****and lemons later**

**Aloha my dudes. The names Shadeau, though you can call me Shadow, and welcome to a special project that I've been working on.**

**About a month (or longer, time aint my strong suit) ago, someone reached out to me to tell me that they found the first five chapters of this story and they wanted to tell me, because they saw how I mentioned it in my profile. After reading through the story for a bit, the grammatical issues started to become apparent, so being bored, I decided to edit it to make it more readable for myself.**

**Fast forward like a week, and I reached out to Engineer4ever, the original author of this fanfic, and asked him for permission to reupload the edited version. We talked for a bit, and now I'm officially rewriting the whole damn story, with grammar fixes, dialog changes, and even a slightly reworked plot. I'll probably have some kind of change log at the end of every chapter to inform you all of the changes I make, but that'll be up to future me.**

**Also, speaking of changes from the original. Unlike Engineer, I am an actual artist, so I'll probably be posting a good amount of art for this story as it progresses. One of which is the cover image for this story. Should you wanna check me out, I go by the same name over on deviant art.**

**Now, lets just hop into the story, since I've already made this AN long enough.**

**Also to make your reading easier:**

_**Jutsu will be typed like**_** _this._**

**「****Spells will be typed like this.****」**

(Random mini AN's will be typed like this.)

"People will talk like this."

_'People will think like this.'_

**"Powerful beings/giant monsters/summons will speak like this."**

_**'Powerful beings/giant monsters/summons will think like this.'**_

* * *

Evangeline Athanasia Katherine McDowell was bored.

The Dark Evangel, Maga Nosferatu, The Queen of The Night, The Doll Master, The Lord of Darkness, The Apostle of Destruction, The Tidings of Evil, Puppet Master, Dreaded Vampire, The High Daylight Walker, The Girl Queen of Darkness, The Visitation of Woe, The Disciple of Dark Tones… Kitty, was bored out of her mind.

It had been two hundred years since the passing of her apprentice, a full two centuries of boredom.

That was… until she decided to try something new.

The ability to travel to other dimensions.

The idea was quite appealing, though it took quite the number of years to finally be able to preform the technique. She also found out that she hadn't been the first vampire to accomplish this feat- stupid old man and his jewels!

But now, she was here; she had traveled to a new world.

She found this new world to be interesting; a world full of ninjas... NINJAS!

Kaede would have had a field day in this world.

As she was walking around the woods, she could feel a rather large level of demonic energy. Swiftly, she left to investigate where it was coming from, and she found a little girl with a stick in hand- drawing various things in the dirt.

She was a pretty little thing, golden blonde hair, flowing down her back- much like her own. And even the same ocean blue eyes; though they seemed to hold look of both sadness and loneliness, feelings that she was all too intimate with. Her skin tone was that of a light healthy tan, and the most unique thing about her would be the whisker marks on her cheeks, tripled on each side.

She was wearing a black tee-shirt with a red spiral on the back and white shorts, although she seemed to be barefoot.

She decided to approach the girl, idly wondering if she was a Hanyou or perhaps something similar to Setsuna, since she was emitting such strong demonic energy.

Eva put a big smile on her face and stood in front of the girl, "Hello there, little one." She said causally.

The little girls' eyes widened with fear, as her instincts forced her to crawl backwards until she hit a tree.

Eva raised an eyebrow, surprised by the intensity of her survival instincts, "Usually, when one greets another it's polite to return the greeting little one." She said in a light chiding manner.

The younger blonde's eyes traced Eva's body, trying to gauge her as a threat- which made the vampiric loli a little amused, she didn't know the half of it- and she took a deep breath, before speaking in a low tone, "Hello…"

Evangeline gave her a smile, "See... Now, was that so hard?"

The little girl shook her head.

"Well, I should introduce myself; I'm Evangeline A. K. McDowell, what's your name?"

"Uzu-Uzumaki Naruko, onee-san." She said timidly, her body tensed as if Eva would attack her.

"Ooh, quite the unique name, sweetie. A beautiful flowing whirlpool, the name compliments itself." Eva responded with an approving nod.

"Th-thank you." Naruko stuttered out.

After looking at the girl, she could tell that she wasn't a Hanyou; in fact, it almost feels like the demonic energy was sealed inside the child.

What kind of cretin would do something so crackbrained?

Though, it reminded her of her own past, a young girl sadly alone with no means to defend herself. Maybe, she could _help_...

...Thinking about it now, Eva realized that it _ha__s_ been a while since she trained someone, and the girl seemed like an interesting egg too. Not to mention, having an heir to the McDowell name was something that she could use.

"Well jou-chan, would you like a friend?"

The girls' eyes brightened at those words, and she rushed over to give the older girl a hug.

From her desperate grasp and pained looks, it was fairly easy to see that she was starved for attention. Which would be perfect~

Evangeline smiled to herself; this turn of events would be interesting, indeed.

* * *

They two walked into the forest for a bit, until Eva found a large plain that didn't house any trees. The chibi immortal pulled out a bottle, which held a tiny cottage inside, and threw into the middle of the clearing. Eva's face twisted into a wide grin, telling the young girl to watch what happens next. With a mere wave of her hand the bottle cracked opened and the wooden structure inside suddenly expanded, taking residence within the clearing.

Naruko had stars in her eyes, clearly excited by the amazing display, "Whoa, how did you do that? Magic?!"

Eva smirked at the child, the young were truly the easiest people to impress, "Something of the sort."

"So cool!" the little blonde cheered.

"Yes, now let's go inside. Perhaps you'd care for some tea?" The chibi vamp said.

"I'd like that." The little girl said in a tiny voice.

'_Hm, we__'re definitely going to__ have to do something about that timid nature.'_ Eva thought to herself.

As they entered two Chacha maid units walked up to them.

"Is there anything you need, Mistress?" they asked at the same time.

Naruko stepped behind Eva in slight fear and the vamp gave a light chuckle, "Yes, get some tea for myself and my guest here. Also get her some shoes; walking barefoot isn't really good for a child to do." She ordered.

The two Chacha maids bowed, "Right away, Mistress." They said in synchronization.

"Who are they, nee-san?"

"They are simply free moving puppets that have a will of their own. Completely autonomous, minus the fact that they answer to me." Eva said in a gloating tone.

"So they're moving dolls?" Naruko asked, summarizing Eva's explanation.

Eva let loose a small giggle at the younger blonde's childish way of addressing her puppets, "I suppose that is one way of putting it~"

Eva guided the girl to the couch and they sat down. A few moments later one maid unit came with the tea while the other had a pair of simple black loafers- not very sophisticated, but they'd do for now.

"Put them on." Eva said in a kind tone and Naruko followed her instructions, but quickly got a bit dejected at the size difference, "They don't fit." She stated, causing Eva to grin, as she waved her hand- willing the shoes to adjust to the child's feet. The astonished Naruko stood up and walked in the now fitting shoes, "Wow, these feel great~" she chirped, "Thanks, nee-san!" she said with a bow.

_'Well, at least she's polite.'_ Eva noted with amusement, "Now, how about you tell me why you were in the woods? It really isn't safe for a child your age; you don't what kind of monsters you could find out here." She said with a chuckle, briefly appreciating the irony of _her,_ of all people, saying such a thing.

Naruko took on a sad look, "I-I was walking around the village and some bullies started picking on me. They started laughing at me, calling me a no good orphan, and… and then they took my shoes, saying that I didn't need them. I called for help, but the adults just ignored me." She said as she started to cry, "Then the bullies tried to hit me, but when I fought back and broke one of their noses, the adults got angry and started chasing me, so I ran into the forest and hid." She finished, as she started to cry; hugging her legs to her chest and burying her face in them.

Aside from Eva's desire to level this village to the ground, she was certain that this could work in her favor. The child clearly fears and no doubt hates these people, so all she had to be was her knight-in-shining-armour and the child would be faithful to her.

Eva walked over the girl and held her while rubbing her back and whispered sweet nothings in her ear. After the girl had calmed down, Eva handed her some of the tea and it helped to further calm the child down.

"Why don't you stay here with me? I could always use a friend, especially since I'm new around these parts." Eva asked with a kind look.

Naruko's eyes went wide, "Really?" she whispered as if she didn't believe it.

"Of course, I could even teach you how to defend yourself. I've been told that I'm quite strong." Eva added as she used the bait of power to get the girl.

"No one would pick on me?" she asked with hope in her trembling voice.

_'There it is__'_ Eva thought in glee as she gave a reassuring smile, "They would fear to even anger you."

"I'd like that." Naruko said, "I'd like that a lot." She added as her voice rose in volume.

_'Hook, line, and sinker!'_ Eva thought in triumph, "Would you like your first lesson now?" the vampire asked.

Naruko nodded and Eva grabbed her hand, leading her to a room filled with bottles that had buildings inside with different environments.

"These bottles are magical, when we go inside them one hour out here is a whole day in there." Eva said and laughed lightly at the child's awed face and walked them onto the magical circle. In a flash of light they were in a paradise that made Naruko's jaw drop from the sheer beauty of it. They were stood on a beach, with a wonderful view of the sun glistening off the wave. The air was warm and full of moisture, reminiscent of the summer heat. And behind them was a giant tower that seemed to be a massive resort that you'd see in a civilian village- only more high-tech and pretty.

"This... this is amazing." Naruko said in awe, it was like something out of a book.

"I know right?" Eva said and led her further in to the main area of the resort where Eva would train her.

"Now, first thing to do is teach you how to fight. You will be my apprentice, and I do not train weaklings. So, tell me Uzumaki Naruko... Are you a weakling?" Eva asked in a commanding tone.

"N-no." Naruko answered

"I can't hear you! I said, are you a weakling?!" Eva said louder.

"NO!" Naruko shouted and Eva nodded.

"Good. Now I'm going to teach you about a fighting style I picked up from a funny old man I once met, it's called Aikido." Eva started and began to show Naruko the basics of it.

* * *

Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Sandaime Hokage was not having a good day. For the last few months, Uzumaki Naruko- the secret daughter of the Yondaime Hokage, Namikaze Minato- had undergone a major change in personality. No longer did the child smile through the pain of her life, nor did she take the abuse of the villagers when they had decided to attack the girl. The boys who usually picked on her were sent to the hospital when she broke their arms and gave a couple of them concussions.

An incident at the library was the most recent evidence of this, as she just walked in- took some history books, basic textbook for the academy, and books about chakra- and just left without checking them out. The librarian usually kicked the girl out from what he had heard, so when she ignored the old woman and just decided to take them, the librarian decided to attack the girl. Naruko had defended herself and threw the older woman to the ground, breaking the old woman's hip in the process. She was still in the hospital and, when Naruko was asked to return the books, the girl had said no.

He had to personal come to see the girl- which he only did once a month since he had a village to run- and had kindly asked the girl to give them back. A girl who wasn't old enough for puberty, said no straight to his face without hesitation. Now he took a sterner position with her to get them back and all she had said, "What are you going to do? Tell my parents? Oh wait, I don't have any~." She said in a mocking tone to him, which stung pretty hard since he knew who her parents were- and, no doubt, they would have been upset at her behavior. She left without ever turning back, even when he ordered her to stay. She just kept walking and told him that she wasn't one of his subordinates, so he didn't have power over her.

He had taken a much more active role to keep track of the girl and had found out that she had left the village to go into the forest. His ANBU had lost track of the girl once she had entered the forest, so he had no idea what she was doing.

Though, the strangest thing, she started to refer herself as Naruko U. McDowell, which caused quite a bit of headaches, since no one with such a name ever existed on any file he had.

Sarutobi rubbed his temples, frustrations deepening as he tried to find out what was making Naruko act like this.

* * *

It had been five months since she had started her training with Mistress Evangeline. She had spent two hours in the resort each day, so she had basically been training for about three-hundred days. And even at the times she wasn't in the resort, she continued to train in the real world.

She had a good understanding of Aikido now, but Eva would teach her more later on as her body grew. It was mainly a fighting style that revolved around using ones opponent's energy against them in throws and joint locks.

Then, Mistress started to teach her the greatest thing in the world- magic. Her mistress was teaching her fucking magic! Basically Chakra, the energy of her world, was the same as the energy known as Kanka in her mistress's world. With intense training to separate the physical and spiritual- or Ki and Mana- from her chakra, she started to use magic. Her activation key, till she thought up her own was **「****Practe Bigi Nar****」** and the only two spells she knew so far was **「****Cantus Bellax****」**, a body enhancing spell, and **「****Sagitta Magica Obscuri****」**, a long range spell that shoots arrows of darkness.

With the knowledge of how to separate her chakra, she would one day be able to use her energy no matter what stage it was in! Ki, Mana, Chakra, it didn't matter; no one would mess with her!

"Mistress, I'm home!" Naruko announced as she enter the cottage.

* * *

Eva would say that these past five months had been some of the most fun in her long life. While the bouya already had his values and goal all set when she started to train him, Naruko on the other hand was a blank-slate. She had forgotten how much fun it was to corrupt a young mind!

The best thing that had happen was letting the young girl become a carrier of the McDowell name. Once Naruko agreed to it, Eva had cranked up the child's training into maximum overdrive, pushing the girl to her limits with training. After all, she didn't want a weak heir.

She was currently reading one of the history book that Naruko had taken- she was quite proud of the little dear for doing that- and was learning about the world she was in. Now when she saw that people used Kanka to do techniques, she was greatly surprised to say the least.

Teaching Naruko how to separate it was a bit time consuming, but once she had learned the process, it had gotten easier to do. From what she could understand Naruko had a gratuitous amount of magical energy, just like Konoka did, and by extension, that also meant that she had a large amount of chakra. Apparently you could walk on walls with chakra, which sounded incredibly fun, and potentially useful. So, she was planning on using the book as a reference point to teach her heir to cling to surfaces.

She had also added etiquette lessons to the young girl's regimen. Despite her manners, Naruko still grew up without any proper education for how a lady should act, so she took it upon herself to make sure that her heir would be up to snuff.

Also she had seen the seal on Naruko's navel. From what she read, seals were one of the most difficult arts to master. She would be surprised to learn that the Uzumaki clan were famous for being the grandmasters of the art of fuinjutsu. Now, wasn't that just suspect? If Naruko was truly one of these Uzumaki, then why wasn't she with her family? Having become curious, Eva had done a little digging at night- shadow travel ruled- and found out that Naruko's clan had been destroyed in one of the past wars of this world. Her mother was Uzumaki Kushina, a pretty redhead that sounded a lot like Kagurazaka, but there was no info on daddy dearest. Naruko was technically royalty of this village of hers, yet she was treated like garbage.

The plot just kept getting thicker and thicker~ she just loved a juicy conspiracy. She couldn't wait to spring all this on Naruko, and have her rip this Hokage to shreds for hiding such information.

Hm, she would have to get her best bottle of blood for that event. Oh and speaking of blood, whatever demonic entity that was sealed within Naruko had somehow given her blood the best taste ever~ She could barely hold back full-body shutter when she took the first sip.

"Mistress, I'm home!" the voice of Naruko said.

"Oh good, my adorable student is back." She said to herself as she smiled.

Yes, the coming years were expected to be interesting.

* * *

Naruko was now twelve, though she was technically closer to fourteen after all the time she spent in the time bottles. She now stood at 5'3 and wore a sleeveless, black sailor fuka that had pink trimming around collar and hem. Around her neck were a black tie with a pink cross at the end of it, and a black frilly choker. Her legs were adorned with a black skirt that had matching stockings, which went up to her mid-thigh and had ribbons on the sides, with thin black boots finishing up the outfit. Her hair was longer now and fell to her ankles, she had no baby fat on her once rounded face, her sapphire eyes shined with a wicked glint that scared people away from her, and her nails were painted dark red, like dry blood- best part is they didn't chip thanks to magic~ She had started to grow some curves and had a B-cup chest with a purple bra and panties; also she had a bit of an accent thanks to her Mistress.

Much had happened in these eight humorous years. Naruko had mastered numerous spells of ice, lightning, and darkness; she even got a magical ring to act as her spell's foci. According to Eva, Naruko had a lot of potential like her first student, but was better off since she started training earlier then he did. She had also learned how to use wires, a sword (the basics at least), and a replica of Kaede's zanbatou sized shuriken that Eva had made for the preteen.

During training, Eva had decided to only use the resort once a week, so Naruko didn't grow too fast lest people might get suspicious. The result was three-hundred and eighty-four days of extra training, but Naruko didn't complain, her mistress had snuck into the Hokage's tower, read the scroll of sealing, and copied down the _**Kage Bunshin no Jutsu**_ which had the ability to relay memories back to the user. So from the last four years, she had made hundreds of clones due to her chakra reserves and used them to train in magic, Ki, and Chakra while her Master trained her physically in spars.

For Fuinjutsu, Naruko's birthright, Eva had stolen a good number of scrolls about the art and had Naruko read all about, which she absorbed like a sponge.

During the years, Eva had drank the blood of a Jonin- making him her minion- and had him explain the reason why people hated Naruko. The child was a Jinchuuriki, a human sacrifice and weapon for the ninja villages. Naruko held the strongest of the Biju- the Kyuubi no Kitsune- which was sealed into her by the Yondaime. Essentially her life was forced aside to be the stand-in of the big bad fox.

Eva guessed as much since humans would do anything for power at times, but Naruko wanted to kill everyone for treating her as something she was not. Eva had knocked her out during her rage. After explaining her plan to the child, Naruko agreed would stay her hand, and not do anything…for now.

She had only one true friend- other than Eva, who was more like a mistress/mother- that she had gotten on her ninth birthday; Chachazero, who she affectionately referred to as Zero-chan- which Zero returned by calling her Naruko-chama. The knife wielding, self moving doll scared many people, which she was thankful for, since during the academy many of the older students tried to pick at her, but they mysteriously ended up with lacerations on their bodies and were dumped behind dumpsters. They lived, but they didn't bother Naruko ever again, and nearly pissed themselves every time they saw Zero.

Anyway as for our evil blonde heroine, she was currently marching to the Hokage tower.

She kicked open the door of the tower, breaking the doors off their hinges and marched upstairs where the secretary tried to stop her, however she was quickly shut up when an ice arrow nearly impaled her brain.

She used a Ki infused punch to shatter the Hokage's office door where the old man was talking to an assortment of gathered Jonin.

All the Jonin were on guard, along with the ANBU who jumped down ready to restrain her, but Sarutobi held up his hand to stop them.

"Hello Naruko-chan." He said as he offered a smile, "I'm sorry, but we're all in the middle of a meeting right now."

"Oh, I didn't notice." Naruko said in mock shock as she placed her hand over her mouth, but her features turned to rage once more, "I couldn't care less!" she shouted and marched up to him, each step causing cracks in the wooden floor, "You lying, conniving, manipulative old bastard! How long did you think you could hide it from me, huh? How long!" she shouted in his face.

"I'm not sure what you're talking abou-" he tired to say, but Naruko smashed her hand through his desk, splitting the wood down the center and causing it to collapse to the floor with the paperwork that previously occupied it being sent airborne.

"How long did you think you could hide the fact that I'm your bloody weapon!?" she shouted in rage as her eyes turned red, "How long were you going wait to tell me about my mother Kushina, and the fact that I'm royalty because of my clan!? The same clan who's symbol you bastards flaunt around on the backs of your jackets, yet aren't even worth a footnote in _any_ history lesson!" she shouted as the air turned cold and the Jonin could start to see their breath.

"Everyone please lea-" Hiruzen started, but was cut off by a wall of ice blocking the windows and the open space where the door once was.

"Oh no, no, no! Let them hear of how much of a bastard their kindly leader truly is." Naruko said with a sickening smile as the temperature fell even further in the room, "You thought you could get away with it? Did you take me for an idiot, Sarutobi Hiruzen?" the blonde hissed, but Sarutobi stood up and glared at her.

"You need to learn your place, child." The old man said sternly to her.

"Oooh! Dropping your little act?" Naruko said tauntingly, "Here's the deal, you tell this cesspool who I'm related to and give me my inheritance, or I walk." The blonde said as ice started to form under her feet.

"Walk!?" Hiruzen said in shock.

"You know, leave- vamoose- go on a permanent vacation- never come back. Are these turns of phrase too complex for you to comprehend?" she asked mockingly, "You know, I'm one of the few reasons other villages don't attack here, after that bastard used me to deal with your problem."

Most of the Jonin in the room growled at her not only mocking their leader, but also their greatest hero.

"So, what will it be? Losing the symbol of my clan- as well as the only Jinchuuriki this village has- or let these zealots know all about how they abused the heiress to one of their most noble clans?" she asked with a feral grin, as her blue eyes returned now that she she calmed down a bit. Of course if he said no, she would just steal all that belonged to her and spam spells from the sky, destroying this place. It was nice being able to fly~

The Sandaime was panicking in his mind now, how did Naruko learn all these things?! They were deeply held secrets…well some were, like her mother and her clan. He needed to think of something fast.

"Tick tock monkey, tick tock." Naruko said she watched him sweat. If the man did try to capture her, he would be surprise to find out that she was really a _**Kage Bunshin**_. She had always sent a clone during the academy so she could train with her mistress more.

"I…will tell them." The Hokage said in reluctance. He could not afford to have Naruko leave and the embarrassment of having their uniform changed due to the demand of a child would be a far too big.

"Good to see you live up to your moniker of Professor." Naruko said as she popped into a dense cloud of smoke, more than happy to leave the ice in the room for them to deal with.

"Shit, that is one angry gaki." A woman with purple hair in a ponytail and wore a full body mesh suit, a skirt, and a trench coat. She was currently hugging herself as her nipples were freezing off from all the ice.

"Not now, Anko." Everyone said as some of them were doing some katon jutsu to get rid of the ice, but but kept the flames small enough, so as to not burn down the room.

Hiruzen sat in his chair as he held his head with his hands, wondering where it all went wrong.

A man with gravity deifying gray hair who was wearing the standard Jonin uniform and had his headband tilted to cover his left eye, "Well, what now Hokage-sama?" asked Hatake Kakashi, the copy ninja and last living student of the Yondaime. He was very surprised at how cynical his sensei's daughter acted. He had heard rumors, at first he just hoped that it was the people who hated her for the Kyuubi, but now he thought otherwise.

"She is showing to be a major flight risk. When she passes the genin exam she will be assigned to you just like young Sasuke is. We cannot let her leave Kakashi! I'm counting on you." The aged Hokage said as he gave Kakashi a serious look.

Kakashi nodded, "I understand." He said, but he hoped that he could steer his sensei's daughter in the right direction.

* * *

Naruko stopped playing the fighting game that she and Eva were playing, which in turn caused her to lose…again, and turned to the smaller blonde with a big smile, "Mistress, I got the memory." Naruko said as Eva grinned savagely.

"Oh ho ho, this is going to be so good~ Hey, get me some blood and set up the memory projector!" Eva ordered her Chacha maids.

"Was there blood?" asked Chachazero who hopped on the couch.

"No, but lots of panic and fear." Naruko answered honestly.

"Well that won't do… Make sure to eviscerate at least one next time." Eva hissed with a pointed look.

Quickly, Naruto bowed her head, sorry to upset her mistress. "Of course, Mistress!"

One of the maids brought Eva her a wineglass filled with scarlet liquid of life, and the other brought the memory projector as well as some extra memory film. Naruko muttered a spell and the memory of the event went onto the film. The maid put the film in the machine and started the projector, dimming the lights for the short video.

As the film played Eva nodded at some of the moves Naruko used, though she wouldn't have shown her ice magic so soon. She quickly got over it when Naruko made her offer and laughed at the panicking old fool.

Zero was giggling up a storm on Naruko's lap as the blonde child laughed at the stupefied looks on the Jonin's faces. Maybe they'll learn their leader isn't all that great.

"While the lack of blood is nettlesome, I like the fact that you destroyed his desk. It added just the right amount of savagery." Eva commented as she finished her blissful drink.

"Thank you, Mistress~" Naruko purred out with a smile for the praise.

"However, you doltishly used your magic in front of those idiots." Eva scolded with a glare.

Naruko looked down, "They're stupid, they'll think it's the Hyoton, or some other Kekkai Genkai." The younger blonde reasoned.

Eva stared at her for a few seconds to make her sweat, but sighed in the end, "Fine. I'll let it slip… for now." The chibipire said.

"Thank you, Mistress." Naruko said again.

"Now go study for your little test tomorrow. I will not tolerate my apprentice getting anything less than first place in school." The vampire said as she had force fed knowledge and tactics into Naruko's head at a young age and showed she was brilliant at it- once she applied herself.

"Of course." Naruko said as she grinned at the thought of sending that fool Mizuki to the hospital…again.

"Good." Eva nodded as she watched the girl walk away with her partner.

* * *

Naruko was walking down the street with a bit of a skip in her step as Zero was humming a tune.

It freaked everyone the hell out, because it was known that Naruko U. McDowell does not skip unless she just did something that made her happy, like nearly killing someone or something.

She entered the academy and breathed in deeply. Oh, how was she was going to miss this brainwashing facility, messing with the staff was far too much fun~

It was trivial at best to make them squirm. Something as simple as channeling her anger to make her eyes turn red would freak them out.

It was great~

Anyway, she walked up to her classroom door and opened it, "Hello my annoying classmates, your most feared person has arrived~" Naruko said in a singsong tone as she skipped to her seat.

Now, Naruko had garnered two different reactions from her classmates.

Most of the girls found her to be the scariest person they had ever met. They thought that- because she grew her hair long- Naruko was after Sasuke, but once they confronted her, she thrashed them while telling them that Sasuke was a loser who played for the other team.

All the boys- except a few- found her to be smokin' hot! She was the academy bad girl that had breasts unlike most of the girls in class and she wrecks Sasuke in all the spars they were paired with. Basically, Naruko U. McDowell was the most wanted girl in school, no matter how much their parents told them to not go near her. That just made them want her more!

Hell, a bunch of people even made a fan club for her, with several boys, girls, and even a few adult members. Some of the more die-hard members would literally throw themselves at her feet.

After the rest of the students came in, the teachers Iruka and Mizuki finally entered with papers in-hand.

"Who do you think is going to test me in taijutsu, Zero-chan?" Naruko asked her partner loud enough for everyone to hear.

"I don't know, Naruko-chama, but are you going to make them bleed?" the blood thirsty puppet asked.

"No, I'll break their legs first, then their arms and while they are on the ground begging for mercy I'll…" she trailed off with a bone chilling giggle, wanting to make it a surprise.

Everyone gulped- or moaned softly if they were a fan who imagined it was them getting domed by the blonde baddie- as Iruka and Mizuki did a quick round of rock-paper-scissors to see who was going to fight the blonde terror.

Iruka pumped his fist in the air at his victory with the mighty rock. _'__God bless the rock, for it is holy. A true testament to the mental and physical durability and power that one must have to be a soldier. Amen...'_

"Fuck!" Mizuki cursed loudly for sending out his scissors- the true pussy's choice.

Naruko just giggled, since she wanted to knock the white haired chunin's block off.

The sensei's passed out the tests and the students got underway with the test that decided their future.

Naruko listened to Zero hum while she raced through the test knowing all the answers to these unnecessary questions.

In five minutes flat Naruko flipped her test over and started to play with Zero on her desk, while speaking in whispers-though everyone could still hear her- about all their favorite ways to kill peoplen

As everyone finally finished, the class was lead outside and started the taijutsu portion of the test.

Strangely by the time it finished, Naruko's name was never called.

"Oh sensei~ why wasn't I called to kil- I mean spar against Mizuki?" Naruko asked sweetly as she really didn't count Mizuki as a sensei and only called Iruka one when she wanted something.

Iruka started to sweat, "Well since you did so well, we decided to pass you automatically." He said nervously, much to the chagrin of the other students, but a glare from Mizuki shut them up.

"Aww…" Naruko moaned in disappointment and her fans found her pouting face to be cute.

Finally it was time for the Ninjutsu test.

When Naruko was called she performed the academy three: _**Henge**_, she turned into Mizuki while pretending to be chocking and dying; _**Kawarimi**_, she swapped with Mizuki and sat him the silver haired mans' seat causing the man to fall on his rear at about three feet in the air, and finally she did _**Kage Bunshin **_to pass the clone test.

She had passed with flying colors and grabbed her stupid headband and left. As she left the building she swung the headband by the cloth it was stitched to. Ah, those scowls were so wonderful to see!

She used **「****Shundo****」** multiple times to get home and lose the usual people who tailed her. She entered the barrier that only allowed her and Evangeline to enter while turning others away.

She opened the cottage door waving the headband, "I got the thingy~" Naruko chirped

"Good, I was wondering what was taking so long." Eva said as she entered in a white Lolita outfit.

"Dressing up for today, Mistress?" Naruko asked with her head tilted.

"For once." Eva said, "I don't really have a reason to dress in some of my more stylish outfits, because I stay in here all the time!" she said as she announced her cabin- or in her case cottage- fever.

"Then go out as me for a day." Naruko suggested with a grin, "All we have to do is draw some whisker marks on your face, Mistress, then do a minor illusion spell to give you some height, and you'd be the spitting image of me." she said with a giggle.

Eva snorted at her, "As if! Should you lose those whisker marks, you'd be the spitting image of me if my body grew. Don't get too cocky with me, sweetie~"

Naruko pouted, "Fine."

"But, you do raise a good idea my apprentice. I think I may just take you up on that offer." Eva said with a grin, as she cupped her chin.

Naruko blinked, all she had to do was take her picture tomorrow…Mistress could do that without messing up her reputation, right?

"You just thought that I'd somehow cramp your style, didn't you?" Eva said menacingly as she stepped towards Naruko.

Naruko started to sweat, "No, of course not, never!" she said as she inched away from her temperamental Master.

Her mistress quickly used a binding spell to capture her, a menacing, sadism ridden grin on her face, "It's a day in the arctic field for you." As she snapped her fingers, her Chacha maids dragged the screaming child into the ice field of the resort.

"I love doing that~" Eva said to herself and looked into a mirror as she waved her hand to give her whisker marks and a few inches of height, she turned to Chachazero, "How do I look?" Eva said the blood thirsty doll.

"Naruko-chama pulls it off better." The doll said with honesty.

Eva picked the doll up and put her on her head, "Let's just go." Eva said in a ticked tone, she was just as cute as her little apprentice… She could so pull off her whisker marks, dammit!

They headed out to the village and headed into the tower. The secretary still seemed to be scared of her. Good.

Eva looked at the door her student destroyed not too long ago, and saw that it was fixed… The Hokage's got a hell of a good carpenter if they can fix _that._

She knocked on the door and heard a voice tell her to come in. She opened the door, with a grin on her face, as she saw the Hokage's new desk, "You tell them yet?" she questioned in a playful tone.

Sarutobi looked at her with a light glare, "Not yet." He said in a terse tone, "Please sit down in the corner so the photographer can take your photo."

"Okay~" Eva said as she sat down, putting Chachazero by her feet. She smiled cruelly into the camera and the photographer took the picture with silent fear.

He handed the photo to the Hokage to put into Naruko's file, which Eva noted was quite thick. With only one glance, the jaded Hokage sighed, and practically pleaded with the disguised blonde, "Please take another one, Naruko-chan."

"No thanks, my picture should strike a deep fear into whatever poor idiot that decides to look me up." Eva said with a grin.

The man sighed again and put it in, he couldn't really afford to upset the blonde, lest she just sneak off. It wasn't like any of his Anbu could find her in these passed eight years.

"Prepare to die old man!" a child's voice shouted as a kid with brown hair that wore white shorts, a yellow shirt, blue scarf, and even a helmet.

"Yeeeeaaaah!" the kid shouted till he tripped over his scarf.

"Honorable grandson!" the voice of a panicking adult said as a man in black pants, shirt, bandana, and round sunglasses came in to see the fallen boy.

"Ow, what tripped me?" the young boy said to himself as he stood up and saw Eva, "You tripped me!" he proclaimed as he pointed at the Vampire.

Eva blinked at him, "You're pretty big for a vegetable." she stated blandly, ignoring the gasp from the man in black.

"Wha?" the kid questioned.

"I'm calling you brain dead, boy." Eva simplified, dumbing it down for the kid.

"Hey, I'm not stupid, you meanie!" the kid said with a red face.

"Well, it seems to me that you are, so long as you can't comprehend the fact that you stupidly tripped on your own scarf." Eva scuffed, "I'm leaving, come Chachazero." She said and the puppet stood on its legs, "You got it, Naruko-chama!" and it walked out with Eva.

"Who was that, and what was with that doll?" the boy asked.

"That was Naruko Uzumaki, -or as she prefers, Naruko U. McDowell- and she is, without a doubt, one of the strongest genin in this village Konohamaru." Sarutobi said as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

_'So that is the Kyuubi-girl. What a frightening presence she gives off.'_ Ebisu thought with a shiver.

"It would be for the best if you stay away from…_that_, honorable grandson." Ebisu said, but turned to see his young charge had left, "Honorable grandson? Honorable grandson?!" he said in a panic.

"I believe he left to stalk after Naruko, Ebisu." The Sandaime said.

"Honorable grandson, no!" Ebisu shouted as he chased after his charge.

* * *

Eva was walking with Chachazero in her arms, till she lashed out her hand and wires ripped off the tarp that Konohamaru used to cover himself- which he unfortunately had turned the wrong way. Her wires snaked around, snaring the child in front of the disguised vampire, "What do you want?" Eva asked with boredom.

"Jiji says you're strong, I want you to teach me!" he said from his wiry prison.

"No." Eva said as she dropped him on the ground and proceeded to leave.

"Hey, wait!" Konohamaru said as he scurried off the ground to catch up with Eva.

Eva started to walk faster and the kid kept following her. She wanted to see how long the stupid boy would follow her.

About ten minutes later, the kid could handle no more, and he collapsed on the ground, "I-I give… up." He said softly, through various groans and pants.

Eva turned around and raised an eyebrow, "I'm surprised. Usually children your age would have some energy… You're a lazy little munchkin, aren't you?"

"No!" Konohamaru said panting as he rolled on to his back.

Eva walked up to his downed boy and poked his head with her finger, "So what's the deal with trying to kill the old monkey?" she asked with curiosity.

"I wanna be Hokage…so the shortest way to do so…is to beat my old man."

"You really are stupid." Eva said with a deadpan look.

"Hey!" the boy said in indignation.

"First off you're ninja, act like one. A ninja just doesn't proclaim their attack; they kill in the night silently when their targets guard is down. Second, the old monkey may be old, but he leads this dump, so he has some kind of experience- experience you don't have. Third, he could easily detect a hit on his life, unless you were the best assassin out there. Fourth, even if you did beat him, no one is going to make a kid a Kage, that's dumb." Eva lectured as she broke the kid's sense of reality.

"Then what do I do!?" Konohamaru shouted with tears, "How do I get people to call me by my name and not honorable grandson!?"

Eva kissed her teeth at him, "What anyone does, they get stronger. The stronger you are, the more people will know of you, simple." She said as she stood up and began to walk away.

"Wait!" Konohamaru said as he stood up and was no longer panting, "Can you train me?!"

Eva turned her head to look at him with only one eye, "I don't train weaklings, get stronger first and then I'll consider it." She said, but of course she was going to dump this on her student, it would be good for her, since all evil villains need to have a good yes-man.

"As if the honorable grandson needs to be trained by something like you!" Ebisu exclaimed, as he entered the scene.

Eva blinked at him, "Oh, it's the weak little man who was about to have a heart attack, due to my mere presence. What do you want?" she asked in boredom, idly wondering if her student had to deal with this all the time.

"The honorable grandson does not need to be even near one as vile as you." He said as he adjusted his glasses.

Eva blinked indignantly for several seconds, before finally opening her mouth, "I'm sorry, but there was so much idiocy in that sentence, might you care to clarify?" she demanded as she narrowed her eyes.

"You know exactly what I said, creature." Ebisu said with a smirk as he crossed his arms thinking he scared the girl with her secret.

"It's ignorant, hypocritical people like you, that I despise the most. You're a bloody ninja- you kill people also- so you're just as monstrous as any other person who kills and steals for money. Now, shut your stupid, little mouth before, I rip out your esophagus." Eva said as she narrowed her eyes and released some killing intent at the ignorant fop.

Ebisu gasped at her for saying that…even if it was true, but his honor would not take it!

"I challenge you, then!"

The blonde vamp's eyes lit up, "To the death~?" Eva asked in a cheery tone and a smile.

Ebisu faltered slightly at such a question. She was an insanely bloodthirsty girl, what if she actually did try to kill him? "No, no just knockout." He squeaked quickly.

Eva pouted, "Fine, spoil sport." She said as she held Chachazero.

"Aren't you going to put that doll down?" Ebisu asked as he got into his stance.

Eva laughed haughtily at him, her smirk shining with superiority, "Why would I need to?"

Ebisu growled and managed to take one step, before Eva was standing in his guard and grabbed his throat with a steel gripped vice. Eva pulled him to her face and the sclera of her eyes turned black as her irises changed to red with slits, "I'll devour your soul." She whispered to him and threw him into a nearby tree, knocking him out and breaking the tree.

"I win." Eva said with a chipper smile as her eyes turned to normal.

Konohamaru stared in awe, surprised by the efficiency that the blond showed dismantling his tutor. Quickly, his eyes gained a starstruck shine, as he shouted at the top of his lungs. "…That was awesome!"

"Yes, yes, I rule. I already know." Eva said as she dismissed his feet kissing and started to leave.

"I'll get really strong like you boss, that way you'll be begging to train me!" he said to her retreating form.

"Hmm… Fine then, bouya. You are now Naruko U. McDowell's minion, and- until you are strong enough to be her apprentice- you will do whatever she says. Is that clear?" Eva ordered

Konohamaru eagerly nodded, but idly wondered why she suddenly shifted to talking in the third-person.

* * *

Eva walked in to see Naruko covered in several blankets eating some chicken noodle soup.

"How was it, Mistress?" Naruko asked through chattering teeth.

Eva hopped onto the couch as waved her hand to get rid of her whisker marks and returned to her normal height, "I have obtained a minion for you."

"A what?" Naruko asked in confusion.

"A minion my dear student, someone to follow your orders and worship the ground you walk on. You can't go around without one, it's just not classy." Eva chided while wagging her finger.

"…But I already have my fan club, why would I need a minion?" Naruko said in even more confusion.

"Minions are much more thematic for villianesses, like ourselves. You'll understand the necessity of brand loyalty in due time." Eva said as she patted her students head, "Regardless, I'm off to bed, get warm soon~" she teased and Naruko grumbled at her.

* * *

Naruko was walking back to the brainwashing facility once more, but had a new addition to her wardrobe, it was a black pointed witch's hat that had a large rim, her mistress insisted on it! All morning she had lectured Naruko about the importance of her "brand aesthetic"- whatever that means.

Today she was getting her meat shiel- uh, teammates… yes._Teammates_.

She slammed the door open and gave a feral grin to the idiots she had to be with for the past few years.

"I wonder which two out of you idiotic lot will end up being my meat shields?" Naruko wondered out loud and everyone shivered. Though, for members of her fan club, they were shivering in a good way… well for them at least.

Naruko sat next to the sloth of the class and propped her legs on the desk, which made some of her more brazen fans try to sneak a peek at her panties. However, she was wearing spats today, making some groan, and some moan. (Important message: Spats are hot af)

Naruko chuckled at messing with the idiots; it was so much fun to tease them.

"As troublesome as always, Naruko." Shikamaru muttered tiredly under his breath. The young Nara had his hair up in a spiky ponytail, wearing grey pants and a matching open jacket with a mesh undershirt.

"Oh come now, Sloth, it's always fun to watch these idiots get all flustered." Naruko said with a haughty laugh.

Shikamaru muttered troublesome blondes, before going back to sleep.

Soon, both Ino and Sakura barged into the room, each trying to get in first.

"Just get in, you stupid banshees." Naruko barked out, causing the two fangirls let loose a feminine eep as they came in.

Ino decided to not show fear to her fellow blonde… like an idiot, "Nice hat weirdo, where's your broom?" she asked tauntingly, getting some of the girls of the class to laugh.

Naruko just grinned, "Oh? The weak, flat twig gets a backbone. I thought you had it removed to weigh even less." Naruko joked and all her brown nosers laughed at the red faced Ino, "And to answer your question, it's with the dead body of the person I killed with it." She said with a smile.

A stiff silence filled the room at that, nobody could quite tell if she was being fallacious.

Iruka came into the class, though everyone quickly took note of the somber look on his face, as well as the lack of a certain assistant.

"… For those wondering, Mizuki won't be joining us, since he was found out to be a traitor last night." Iruka said answering the silent question.

"Ha, I knew it! Pay up sloth." Naruko said to Shikamaru, making the lazy boy mutter to himself, as he handed her a small bundle of ryo.

"Naruko, you knew Mizuki was a traitor?" Iruka asked in surprise, to which the blonde nodded, "Why didn't you say anything?!"

Naruko shrugged with a smile, "I wanted to see how long it took the so called elites of this place to find out. It must be pretty sad that a child figured it out before most of the adults." She finished with a laugh.

Iruka blushed red in embarrassment and everyone in the Hokage's office who was watching the class looked embarrassed as well.

"Anyway," Iruka grunted out, "The teams are as followed…" he listed off.

"Team Seven, Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura, and… McDowell Naruko, your sensei will be Hatake Kakashi."

"Yes!"

"Hn."

"Yay, my newest meat shields!"

Many people gave a silent prayer for both Sakura and Sasuke… Truly, if there was a god, then he hated them.

Iruka continued to list off the rest of the teams, "Wait here for your new Jonin sensei's to come pick you up." He said as he left the room.

* * *

A few hours had passed since the team announcements, and every team had been picked up by their respective sensei. Every team except for the bombastic team of our little heroine.

Naruko and Chachazero were playing a game of cards, with Naruko winning of course.

Sasuke had his eyes closed, it was clear he was irritated.

Sakura, well…

"Where is our sensei?!" she shouted to the world.

"I don't know and I really don't care, I'm winning big time~" Naruko said with a Cheshire grin as she placed her cards down, "Royal flush~"

Zero threw her cards down in anger and crossed her tiny arms, "There is no way you aren't cheating, Naruko-chama. No one is this lucky!"

"What can I say? I have the devil's own luck." Naruko shot back as she collected her winnings, which was a giant pile of candy that they used to bet.

"Who cares about your stupid card game? Our sensei isn't here yet! How are we supposed to learn more about being ninja if he isn't here!" the banshee screeched.

"You mean you're a ninja?" Naruko said with a clueless look, "I thought you were a cheerleader? Huh, learn something new every day." She said to herself.

Sakura seethed at the monstrous blonde and did nothing more, it wasn't like she could.

The door opened and their sensei entered.

Kakashi looked at them with a single half lidded eye, "My first impression of you is…I hate all of you."

"And your hair looks stupid. Do you put your finger in a light socket every morning?"

Kakashi leveled a glare at her, "… I really don't like you."

"Love you too." Naruko said with a carefree smile.

"Roof, 5 minutes." He said and disappeared in a poof of smoke.

_'__**Shunshin, **__huh?'_ Naruko thought as she picked up Zero and walked to a window that she opened. She started a slow walk up the wall as she held her hat and jumped over the railing that surrounded the roof.

"30 seconds~ So, do I get a prize?" Naruko asked as she batted her eyelashes at the Jonin.

"Yes, you get four and a half minutes to rest while your teammates get up here." Kakashi said with an eye smile and he went back to reading his book.

Naruko pouted at him, "We really need to work on this reward system, it stinks." She said as she laid down on one of the benches while tipping her hat over her eyes and placed Zero on her chest.

A few minutes later the dynamic duo opened the door to the roof.

"Wow, you guys nearly failed at getting to a roof in five minutes, congratulations." Naruko said with only her smile being seen.

The two growled at her and Kakashi sighed, _'__N__ot off to a good start...'_

"Well now that we're all here, how about we introduce ourselves to one another?" Kakashi said with his eye smile.

"Like what sensei?" Sakura asked cluelessly.

"Wow, she really is stupid." Zero chirped out with an impish look on her wooden face.

Kakashi had to stifle a laugh; being made fun of by a doll had to hurt so bad.

"You know; your likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams, stuff like that." Kakashi said with a shrug.

"How about you go first, to show us how it's done, Sensei." Sakura suggested.

"Okay then; I'm Hatake Kakashi, things I like and things I hate… meh, I don't feel like telling you that. My dreams for the future… never really thought about it. As for my hobbies… I have lots of hobbies."

_'That wasn't informative at all!'_ Sasuke and Sakura thought while Naruko and Zero were silently laughing at how trolly the intro was.

"Now, how about you pinkie?" the scarecrow asked.

Sakura glared at the nickname, but Kakashi ignored her, "My name is Haruno Sakura, my likes are…" she trailed off and giggled at Sasuke, "My dislikes would be Ino-pig! My hobbies are shopping and doing my hair. Finally my dream would be to…" she said looking at Sasuke again and did that creepy giggle again.

_'…Wonderful.'_ Kakashi thought to himself.

"Emo Wonder, you're up."

Sasuke only scowled slightly at Kakashi's nickname and then spoke, "My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I hate a lot of things, and I don't particularly like anything. What I have is not a dream, because I will make it a reality. I'm going to restore my clan, and kill a certain man."

"How are you going to do that?" Naruto inquired with a curious gaze.

Sasuke blink at her, as he stated the obvious, "Simple, I'll get stronger and kill him."

Naruko shook her head, "No, how are you going to revive your clan if you like guys?" she asked in childish wonder.

Sasuke's scowl increased quite a bit, though he held his tongue, since he didn't want to give her the satisfaction of a response.

"Hey, Sasuke-kun isn't gay!"

"You keep telling yourself that, Haruno." Naruko said with her usual smile.

"And now our wanna-be witch." Kakashi said with a bit of exasperation.

Naruko raised an eyebrow, "Who says I'm a wanna-be? Watch out or I may just hex you~" she said as she wiggled her fingers at him and cupped her chin, "Now, who am I you ask? Well let me inform you peons!" she shouted as she jump onto the top portion of the roof.

"I am The Black Maelstrom, The Deliverer of Malice, a Princess of Night, The Doll Wielder, an absolute Whirlpool of Evil; I am Naruko U. McDowell!" she began laughing manically as lightning struck in the background. She jumped back to her seat where only Zero-chan was clapping for her while the others looked dumbstruck, truly they lack an appreciation for an introduction of her quality.

"My likes are killing, maiming, choking, disarming, dislegging, disemboweling, Zero-chan, tea, reading, and taking walks. My dislikes would be this village, the people in this village, puppies, kittens, birds, forgetting my list of things I hate, reading from my list of things I hate when asked what I hate, people bothering me, people asking me for help, and all the Who's down in Whoville. My hobbies would be training, sleeping, playing with Zero-chan, torturing people, and doing magic~ My dream? Well it would be killing everyone who thought it was okay to pick on me and then all their families." She finished with an angelic smile.

Everyone had a different reaction to her list, Sakura for the most part just looked at her fearfully and inched away slowly; Kakashi was merely wide eyed; and Sasuke was questioning if dislegging was an actual word.

_'Sweet Kami, what happened to her?!'_ Kakashi shouted in his mind, had all the abuse she had gone through really done this to her? He had a lot of work to do, but that dream of hers scared him the most.

"Well…that was informative." Kakashi stated, "Now then-"

"Hey, what about me?!" Everyone turned to look at the small puppet that sat on the blonde's lap.

"You're a doll." Kakashi answered, "You don't count."

"Hey! She has feelings too you know. What an insensitive jerk, no wonder he has to read smut, he couldn't keep a woman if he tried." Naruko said as she hugged Zero, "Now now Zero-chan, well find a bear for you to kill later, is that okay?" Naruko asked sweetly and Zero nodded, hugging Naruko back.

Kakashi shook his head; this day just kept getting weirder and weirder.

"As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," Naruko huffed at him while Zero blew him the raspberry, "I should tell you about the test…" spoke Kakashi before Sakura suddenly spoke up in confusion.

"Test… what test? We already had our genin exams, Sensei." Sakura said in a panic.

At this Kakashi just eyed smiled, "…You didn't think that becoming a full Genin was just passing a written exam and some small test did you?" This of course caused Sakura to blush slightly, since she actually _did_.

"Now as I was saying there will be a test tomorrow morning and I expect you all to be there at Training Ground Seven and I want you all there at seven a.m. sharp. Also, don't eat breakfast, since you'll just throw it up during the test." spoke Kakashi, after which he saluted the three Genin and then disappeared again in a whirl of leaves.

"And I vanish!" Naruko said as she threw down a smoke pellet, disappearing before her teammates eyes.

Seeing as the others left, Sasuke figured that he'd better move out too. Better to get a little bit of training in before the day ends. Though, he encountered a small issue when Sakura hounded him for a date, but she was a fairly poor kunoichi, so getting away from her was a cinch.

* * *

The next day Naruko was whistling as she walked briskly on to the training ground with Zero propped up on her had, humming a soft song for them. She came prepped with both a book in hand, along with her deck of cards to kill some time for the late sensei.

As she walk up, she could see her pink meat shield looking half dead, and the Uchiha meat shield looking a lot better, but still hungry.

Zero jumped off her head and gave her a look, "Deal me." she said, signaling that the card game of the century had just begun.

**-3 hours later-**

A relaxed Naruko sat in the training ground, softly chewing on a piece of toffee, with a large pile in front of her; a mass of candy, knives, and even Zero's clothes all sat in between the witch and her doll.

Said doll's eye was currently twitching from the never ending rage that she was feeling. They'd been playing for hours and Naruko hadn't lost a single hand, "How are you so good?!" she screeched at the top of her magical wooden lungs.

Casually tipping her hat, Naruko shot her partner a Cheshire grin, "The devil's own luck, Zero-chan; I thought you knew this by now."

"Can I at least have my clothes back?" Zero asked, sad and defeated. Being the nice gal that she was- pfft ha- Naruko gave the magic doll a break, as she returned her clothes and knives. Besides, she would be needing them in a bit.

"Yo, minna!" Kakashi greeted, appearing before the tired genin- and Naruko- with an eye smile.

"You're late!" Sakura screeched at the man, before a rock impacted with her gut, coming straight from an annoyed Naruko.

"There are other people here, you moron. None of us want to hear your obnoxious voice!" Naruko growled out angrily at the pink-haired girl.

"Now, now Naruko, no hitting your teammate." Kakashi chided lightly, though Naruko ignored him.

Kakashi reached into his pouch, pulling out a clock which he set on the training post in the middle of the field. Though, much like a pedo near a school, he had more in his magic sack; he then pulled out two bentos and two bells, the latter of which he attached to his pants, "Now then, I am sure you're all wondering about your test." Kakashi paused for a moment as he gave them an eye smile, "It's quite simple; all you have to do, is get these two bells from me. Anyone who doesn't get a bell will be sent back to the academy for remedial training."

This statement was accompanied by three different reactions. Sasuke narrowed his eyes and grit his teeth, determined to get a bell. Sakura paled a bit, her confidence wavering. Naruko however, just stood around with her usual indifferent posture.

"But Kakashi-sensei, there are only two bells!?"

"Amazing, it can count!" Naruko said in mock awe, with her mouth mimicking a fish.

Kakashi shrugged with his trademarked eye smile, "Well then, I guess that means at least one of you will fail. Oh, and by the by, whoever doesn't get a bell will also be tied to one of these posts and forced to watch, as the others eat their meals in front of you."

Two stomachs growled at that announcement, both Sakura and Sasuke now realizing why he told them not to eat. The witch of the team just gave the others a grin that shouted 'cat ate the canary'. Fitting given the nature of their dilemma.

"Naruko." Kakashi said with a bit of his own mischievous attitude filing in, "I thought I told you not to eat."

"I'm not sure if you've figured it out yet from watching the Hiruzen, but me and orders don't mix. Keep that memorized for later use, kay?" Her rude words and smug grin made Kakashi's eyebrow twitch a bit, but he did appreciate her dismissive attitude. It reminded him a lot of himself, though, he'd certainly have to knock her down a peg to get her in line. He didn't have a ton of respect for a lot of people, but he needed to instill the importance of rules into her noggin.

"Alright kids, you can use use anything in your repertoire, just remember to come at me with the intention to kill or you won't get a bell." Kakashi said in slight seriousness.

"But sensei, what if you get hurt?" Sakura asked with a good amount of unease in her quivering voice.

Kakashi chuckled at the cuteness of that sentiment, sure it good to worry for a comrade's health, but genin weren't much against a jonin, "Thank you for the concern, but I think I'm good enough to avoid getting hurt. Now… You may start!"

Instantly, Sasuke and Sakura shot off, disappearing into the grove of trees, while Naruko simply walked leisurely into the woods, whistling all the way. Kakashi sweat dropped at the blatant lack of care, _'__I know I'm a jokey man, bu__t __at__ least _try_to __take __this__ seriously.'_

Now a decent distance into the forest, Naruko laid her back against a tree and waved her hand, **「****Accido: ****De Bell**** Kakashi.****」** She said, summoning one of the silver bells into her waiting hand. Giving the little piece of metal a shake, the bell chimed softly, "Jingle all the way~" Happy with how easy the test was to pass, she casually lifted her hat a bit and placed the bell atop her head, covering it with her hat. "Chachazero, I'm going to take a nap. Watch over me." Naruko commanded her familiar, as she snuggled against the tree, with the brim of her hat covering her eyes.

The small doll nodded happily, pulling out her knives with a scary amount of glee, "How much can I fight?"

"Any lethal force you deem necessary~"

Zero's eyes gained a giant spark, as she began jumping up and down whilst cheering, "Yay!"

**\- With Kakashi -**

The test had been going well so far; Kakashi had gotten Sakura with a weak genjutsu, though her screams were pretty intense, but for the jonin it just showed how unprepared she was. Sasuke was a much more impressive genin, showing good aptitude with katon ninjutsu, the interceptor fist, and even advanced tactics. He had even managed to touch the bell that he had.

Now, if you aren't stupid, then you could probably see a problem here. 'The bell that he had.' And yeah, he only had the one.

As far as he knew, he hadn't dropped it anywhere. It was fastened tightly to his belt, but it somehow managed to disappear.

If his instincts were correct, it may have something to do with the absent blonde genin. So, with the other two incapacitated, he figured that he'd search for her.

Coming to a stop from his tree jumping, he looked at where her chakra signature was to find her… sleeping? Again, he felt a bit of pride rush up at the site of a student with such a lack of respect, but he was more occupied by the sheer disappointment of her not taking him seriously.

Wanting to get back at the unruly student, he planned to surprise her, but his instincts kicked in at the last second, warning him of danger. Jumping off the branch, Kakashi was surprised to see five butcher knives impact where he was once standing.

The jonin's mind raced at a mile a minute, was she pretending to be asleep, or had she set up a trap in case he found her?

"Heya, Cyclops~" A creepy, yet innocent voice said, and it was one that Kakashi recognized. He turned to see the little doll that Naruko carried around, holding two large butcher knives in her hands.

"A battle puppet?" he asked in shock. He had assumed that the puppet wasn't just for show, but to see one of Suna's arts re purposed was impressive. To use one of these tools normally was incredibly difficult, but to see her do any kind of battle puppetry whilst pretending to sleep- and even throwing her voice- was a fucking shock.

"Nuh uh, I'm my own person." Zero said as she slashed her knives against each other, making small sparks fly, "And Naruko-chama said I could go at you with any lethal force I deemed necessary… But, between you and me, I like to make things bloody~ How 'bout you?" she asked with he smile widening to creepy proportions, making the jonin's eye widen.

"Now… Ready or not, here I come~" Zero sang and charged at the Jonin.

-12:00-

The clock rang throughout the field, as Kakashi walked out of the woods with his clothes in rags, his body covered in cuts, and his wild hair was cut slightly shorter. As he struggled to catch his breath, Zero walked out of the woods with a disappointed frown.

"Dang it, time ran out. Maybe we can play again next time, Cyclops~" Zero said as she walked back into the woods to wake up her partner.

"That… is no… ordinary… puppet." Kakashi concluded that dolls would now forever haunt his dreams along side with the clowns. Don't judge, those things were not normal either! (As a clown myself, I am horribly offended by this statement.)

Quickly, Kakashi used a **_henge_ **to appear normal, so that his students wouldn't see his shame. And luckily he did, as Sasuke and Sakura would soon walk into the center of the training ground. Both students were covered in dirt, though Sasuke had his entire wardrobe caked in filth, but Sakura seemed to only have her arms and a bit of her qipao coated.

Naruko, on the other hand, walked out of the woods with but a yawn, looking refreshed as she held Zero in her arms.

"Now then," Kakashi started as he looked over his students. And before they knew it, both Sasuke and Sakura were tied to a respective post.

Sasuke growled with rage, and Sakura shrieked in surprise, as Kakashi turned to Naruko and held out his hand, making a motion for her to hand over the bell.

Naruko blinked, before simply lifting up her hat, showing the bell under it. Kakashi snatched it from atop her head, giving the blonde a curious look, "How did you get this anyway?"

Naruko smirked and tapped her nose, before speaking with quizzical tone, "A magician never reveals her secrets."

Kakashi gave her a mock glare and almost looked like he was pouting at the answer he got. But, seeing how unwavering the blonde was, he simply sighed and looked at the other two, "Well… since Naruko here was the only one who got a bell, it seems you'll both be going back to the academy." He said in a slightly sinister tone.

A dark look flashed over the Uchiha's face, his teeth grit themselves as he cut out of the bindings that held him, "I refuse to go back!"

The dark genin lunged at Kakashi, who easily disarmed him and pushed Sasuke's face into the ground, before pulling his arm into a painful arm-lock.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura said in fear from her bindings.

"This is what happens on a mission. One of your teammates gets caught and you get stuck with a tough decision." Kakashi said as he twirled the kunai he got from Sasuke and pointed it at the boy's throat, "Naruko, kill Sakura or else Sasuke dies!"

Naruko blinked at him owlishly, before a massive grin split her face, "You don't have hold him at knife point for me to do that!"

Kakashi was usually pretty good at handling situations, but he just stared at her, gobsmacked at her response, "She's your teammate, don't you care if she lives?"

Naruko gave her teacher the most questioning look possible, pointing her finger at the tied girl, "Have you heard her speak? Honestly, she'd be a hindrance in most situations, her usefulness lies solely as a meat shield. And lemme tell ya, I can always get another."

Now, Kakashi might be a lazy bastard, who hates schedules and disobeys his authorities regularly, but there are a few things that piss Kakashi off and that line- and by proxy the sentiment behind it- was one of them.

"You're very arrogant for a child." The one eyed man said in a tough tone.

"And you're very whiny for an adult." Naruko said with a smirk.

Kakashi's eye twitched, the girl just had a retort for everything didn't she? It was time to knock her off her high horse. He let go of Sasuke and stood back to full height, in a blink of an eye he was behind Naruko.

As Kakashi went to strike her, Naruko caught his punch; transferring the momentum of his punch, she hefted him over her shoulder and threw him to the ground hard, causing a spider-webesque crack to scar the earth.

"I thought that we had to stop when the bell rang? Hmmhmhm... Well, if you want to play, then who am I to deny you~?" Naruko said in a singsong tone, as she let go of Zero, "You had your fun earlier, now it's my turn." She said to the doll, making Zero nod as she walked over to the posts.

Rushing away from the downed jonin, Naruko quickly cast **「****Melodia Bellax****」** on herself to enhance her agility.

Kakashi stood up slowly and glared at her, "Comrades should shoulder everything together, and yet you seem to think that only yourself matters…"

_'How could the __their __child ever __turned out like this__?'_ he asked himself.

Naruko smirked haughtily at him as if he was a child, "From where I'm standing, I _am_ the only one who matters." She finished with a toothy grin, "Now like you said earlier, I'll come at you with the intent to kill…do try to survive."

Moving fast, Naruko shot her hand out and cast the spell **「****Negari Lux, Nutritus Obscuri, Atrati Cor: Sagitta Magica, Series Fulguris.****」**Lightning came to life in her hands, shooting forwards as seventeen arrows of lightning that all struck Kakashi- kicking up a massive cloud of debris.

As the dust settled, only multiple craters and wood splinters were left.

Naruko kissed her teeth in annoyance, knowing that Kakashi had _**s****ubstituted** _himself for a log.

She scanned the area but wasn't able to see him, that meant he must have been in the woods, "You can hide all you want, but I'll still get you in the end~!" Naruko said as her hand had darkness coalescing around it. **「****Negari Lux, Nutritus Obscuri, Atrati Cor: Sagitta Magica, Series Obscuri! ****」** as soon as those words were said, ninety-nine arrows of darkness shot out from the orb in her hand and bombarded the forest.

"AAAHAHAHAHA!" Naruko laughed with glee as she watched the forest explode into a blaze of pure beauty.

Leaping out of the blazing forest, Kakashi charged out with his headband pulled up and _**henge** _dropped, showcasing a lone red eye and the wounds from Zero.

"Oh, sensei~ I think you have a bad case of pink eye, right here." Naruko said, pointing to her right eye, as if to help him.

Speeding through some handsigns, the water nearby started to come to life. _**"Suiton: Suiryuudan no Jutsu!"**_ he shouted as the water formed a pillar, soon a face emerged, showing a colossal water dragon that roared and charged at Naruko.

"Ha, child's play!" Naruko shouted with a giant smirk, with a wave of her hand the dragon turned to ice. "Shatter..." she commanded with a snap of her fingers, and soon the dragon obliged, breaking off into hundreds of ice shards.

**「****Negari Lux, Nutritus Obscuri, Atrati Cor: Sagitta Magica, Series Glacialis!****」 **Every ice shard slowly stop their decent, and began to take aim, before firing themselves at Kakashi by the dozen.

The Jonin managed to dodge most of them, but a few did manage to graze him, whilst the rest lacerated the training ground.

"Hehehe~ Come on now, I've been on the offensive this entire time. Surely a Jonin isn't having trouble with a genin, right?" Naruko asked in a fit of giggles.

_'What __in the world__!? Lightning, darkness, ice…? I know __that neither Minato-s__ensei __n__or Kushina-sa__ma__ ha__d__a__ Hyoton or Meiton __kekkai genkai__. How is she using them? And what's with that strange language?'_ Kakashi thought to himself, as his mind went a thousand miles an hour trying to figure all this out.

"Hmm… Perhaps if we went hand-to-hand you may have a chance." She taunted, before disappearing via a **「****Shundo.****」** She exited the speed technique right behind him, with her clawed hands swiping down. Kakashi's instincts kicked in again, allowing him to jump out of the way, avoiding being cut to shreds like the terrain where he was once stood did. She preformed another **「****Shundo****」 **and got right into Kakashi's guard in under a second, before hitting him with a ki infused kick to the ribs.

The sound of bones breaking echoed throughout the field, as the jonin was sent flying into the ruined forest.

_'__Kami-sama above,__ she hits like a __fucking truck__.'_ He cursed to himself, as he gingerly touched his ribs, forcing him to let out a hiss of pain. How could he end this without killing her!?

Standing before him once again, the vampire's apprentice gave a mocking sneer to the hurt jonin,"Is the dog finally going to stay down for good?"

With most of the will Kakashi still had, he stood up and glared her down.

"Hmhm… Guess not." She said with a shrug, before her body began to float in the air.

Kakashi's eyes widened comically, _'Okay, th__is is just getting ridiculous__! Now she's flying like the Tsuchikage!? What can't she do?'_

"How about we take this up a notch?" she asked as black energy came to life in her hand as she pointed it at him, **「****Negari Lux, Nutritus Obscuri, Atrati Cor: Veniant Spiritus Obscuri Rigescunt Indutae****!****」**

"I hope you live~" She sang as her energy grew in size, **「****Cum Obscuratione Flet Tempestas Nivalis. Nivis Tempestas –****」**

"Enough!" A booming, powerful voice bellowed across the training field. Everyone turned to see the elderly Hokage standing there with a few of his Anbu, they had their hands on their swords- seemingly ready to strike Naruko.

Naruko kissed her teeth in annoyance once again, as she shot Sarutobi a venomous look, "What is it, you old monkey, can't you see I'm having fun?" she asked as her spell died in her hand, but she stayed airborne in case the Anbu were stupid enough to attack.

Hiruzen ignored her and turned to Kakashi, "This team passes."

"But Hokage-sama, the test is-" Kakashi tired to argue, but Sarutobi wasn't in the mood to argue.

"I said they passed, Jonin." The Sandaime barked out in a cold tone, before leaving the field with his Anbu.

Naruko slowly landed and turned to Kakashi with a frown. The jonin also seemed to be in a sour mood after being interrupted, though his was based on a more ethical issue. Turning to his new 'team' Kakashi gave a gruff order, "You're all now a part of Team Seven, meet me at the Hokage Monument tomorrow for our first mission."

Kakashi quickly disappeared, leaving behind a cheerful Sakura; a pleased, yet anxious Sasuke; and a bitter Naruko.

Shifting her head to the other two, Naruko growled out, "I'm leaving, don't be late, Meat Shields. Come, Chachazero!"

She began to walk away, but the sound of quickly padding footsteps came from behind her, followed by Sasuke suddenly rushing in front of her field of view. Her patience was at an all time low after being interrupted, so she saw fit to bare her teeth at the Uchiha, her eyes briefly turning red, "What do you want, knob jockey?"

Sasuke's face remained unchanged, though you could easily see the sweat dripping from his brow at the intensity of his teammate's glare. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he quickly asked the question on his mind, "Uzumaki, I want to know how you got strong."

Her eyes narrowed dangerously at her fellow genin, "Why the fuck do you wanna know?"

"I need to get strong to avenge my clan, but..." For once in his life, Sasuke had the humility to look ashamed, "I know I'm not nearly strong enough to face him. I couldn't even beat a jonin, and yet the man who killed my clan was an ANBU when he defected, and he's probably stronger by now. But you, Uzumaki… I've seen the looks that you get. Everyone fears you; whether they be civilian, chunin, jonin. Even the Hokage is weary of you. So I want to know how you got strong, so I can try to emulate it!" By the end of his speech, Sasuke's eyes were shining, and for a second, they even seemed to turn red like Kakashi's eye.

At first, Naruko wanted nothing more than to pound Sasuke into the fucking ground. Always power this, clan that, I'm an avenger, yada yada. But… The more she thought about it, the more she remembered her Mistress's lessons on minions, slaves, and followers. The best time to start indoctrinating a person, was when they're emotions ran high, and you had a resource that they desired. You would lure them in with light doses of their object of desire, then as soon as they see you as the best source of it, you can ensnare them with more outlandish and cult like ideas.

Now, Sasuke didn't really have any intrinsic value to Naruko, but he did have some other purpose. She knew that he was loved by all the villagers; he was to their love, as she was to their hate. And what better way to get back at everyone who wronged her, than to turn their favorite knight-in-shining-armour into her pawn.

'_Yes, that'll do perfectly...~" _She thought, as she tried to plan out a course to make the Uchiha feed out of her hand. First, she'd have to exploit the service that he wanted, training. But what to teach him that will be useful, but not powerful?

Smirking to herself, she had just the right idea. "Tell ya what, Sasuke. I'll teach you a couple of things, for a price."

Sasuke's eyes widened exponentially, surprised that Naruko even considered the idea of telling him how she got strong, let alone teach him herself. Though, not one to go in blind, he decided to ask, "What kind of price?" In all honesty, he was mostly hoping to himself that she wasn't going to be a secret admirer, hoping to get a date out of him.

Chuckling to herself, Naruko waved his concerns away, "Nothing much, I will just offer you the chance to learn under me, in exchange for you to follow my every command while training, or when we're on a mission."

The last Uchiha narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the blonde, weary of the demand, "And how will I know that you won't try to brandish this over me to make me do something immoral, illegal, or stupid?"

Gently floating over to him, Naruko pat his head as if he was a child, "Don't worry one bit, I won't be making you do anything crazy~" She said with innocence in her voice, though she neglected to include the 'yet' in her statement. "So whatcha say?"

Extending her hand, Sasuke looked at it for a few seconds, before gingerly shaking her hand, "Fine, but this better be worth the embarrassment..."

As Naruko turned to leave, a devilish smile wormed its way onto her face, _'Oh, little Sasuke, what would Mummy say? Making a deal with the devil~' _

This would be an interesting venture, indeed~

* * *

**Chapter 1 change log:**

** -General grammar tweaks**

** -Changing dialog to be less crass**

**-Fixing some misspelled ****Latin**

**-****Wording tweaked with Eva to make her more sophisticated**

** -Changed Eva's title from "Master" to "Mistress"**

-**Wording tweaked with Sasuke to make him closer to canon**

** -Added narration to show Kakashi's pride in Naruko's "Hip Attitude."**

**-Added new scene of Naruko promising to "train" Sasuke**

**-Removed scene of Naruko watching Hiruzen tell Konoha of her ****heritage**

**I believe that should do it for all the noteworthy changes (****sorry if this seemed a lot like a game's patch notes.)**** Next chapter will probably have even more, so get ready for some reading. Also, I will be cutting down a bit on the smutty content near the beginning. Not getting rid of it fully, just edging it out a bit to make it smoother. (Which was a request by Engineer himself.)**

**Speaking of which, he voiced his concerns about me posting this on FanFiction, due to the "Adult Content Rules", but I will be posting it here, since this is where it came from first. However, should I be forced to delete this from the site, I have a AO3 account that goes by the same name, so this story won't be lost to time again, just shifted to a different platform.**

**Regardless, that's all I got for you all today. If ya liked it, drop a review, I always enjoy reading a spicy review- even the flamers :O)**

**And should you have an idea for something to change to make the story better, or funnier, then shoot me a DM. Should I like the idea, I'll pass it on to Engineer to get the green light.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well shit, we back in boys. Let's get that bread, gamers! **

**Sorry bout how long this took to make, this chapter kinda got a _BIG AS FUCK_ rewrite compared to the last one (6k words to 16/17k words to be precise), and I've been dealing with a lot of shit since the first chapter got uploaded.**

**But we ain't here to talk about that, no we here to see our favorite bad b-witch fuck with some idiots and break the 4th wall a bit on the way!**

**Before we get into that, I'm just gonna take a moment and respond to any reviews that I need to.  
**

**First is Ruimask who said **

Really happy this is back.

If I remember correctly the story was kinda edgy but in a good way , it was fun to read.  
I especially liked Naruko's attitude so i hope that doesn't change to much.

If you decide to abandon the story PLZ dont delete it, last year i spent a lot of time searching for it only to find out it was deleted.

**Honestly, I'm trying to keep everything as close to the spirit of the original as much as possible, so I hope I'm doing a good job by you :3 And should I ever abandon this story it will stay up, both here and on Archive of Our Own. So don't worry too much about this story vanishing again~**

**From Xirons20 (who said a lot of stuff, so I'm just gonna paraphrase to answer questions)**

Although Naruko only has half of Kurama, will she get the other half?  
Will Naruko get her mother's chakra chains?  
Will Naruko become immortal like Eva? I hope so.

**Well, both the second and third questions are a yes, since that was a thing that happened in the original version, I'm not too sure about getting the second half of Kurama's chakra. That's a whiles away from happening, but it might happen.**

**From Reaperofages**

I like whats up so far, can't wait to see more for this story and see if you take it to eva's world

**Well, sorry to say, but we probably won't see anything of Negima, since it's been a few hundred years since canon ended. But who knows, multiverse theory is a bitch, so anything could happen :P**

**From Hikari Nova (in response to me talking about my concern's over the "no adult content" rule)**

Well seeing the amount of lemon/smut fics on here, I'm pretty sure this won't get removed.

**Fair point, however such things will only go on so long as FF doesn't enforce their policy. At any moment, the people who run the site could purge all adult content, should they find the need to. There's no reason to do this as of now really, but that might change in the future, so I'm prepared with a back up, just in case.**

**That was the last major review I wanted to address, most of the others are just people saying "hey I remember this, glad it's back" which I'm eternally thankful for. It's really good to know that people still love this fic, even after years of it being gone :3**

**Anywho, on with the show!**

**And remember:  
**

**「****Spells will be written like this****」**

"People will talk like this."

_'People will think like this.'_

**"Powerful beings/giant monsters/summons will talk like this."**

_**'Powerful beings/giant monsters/summons will think like this.'**_

* * *

It has been a very boring few months since Naruko had gotten instated as a genin. Hatake was initially very upset with the young blonde, though he eventually let it manifest solely as hyper passive-aggressiveness, consisting of rampant sarcasm. The "missions" that they did were better labeled as chores, considering how most of the time they were simple menial labor. Though, for Naruko it was barely a major issue, since she never attended personally. No, she just sent a _**kage bunshin**_ in her place, which was met with the outward ire- and inward pride- of Kakashi.

Though, there was one thing that bugged Naruko to a staggering degree, the lack of proper training. Naruko was an eager learner, she loved to learn new things, it was the major reason why she spent so much time in her Mistress's library. But the silver jonin hadn't taught them anything, and it's been nearly four months! Fucker barely even said a word of advice just "paint that fence," "mow that grass," "don't kill that dog." She was lucky that Evangeline was such a good teacher and actually took educating her seriously.

Speaking of which, Sasuke's "training" had been interesting. She had to make sure to teach him skills that were useful to him, without being so useful that he'd feel like a god or some shit. Creating a positive feedback loop on the fly was hard, but she felt like she struck a good balance. She started him off with telling him his chakra nature- an Uchiha with a fire nature le gasp- then teaching him about tree walking, which he perfected within a week. She also got him started on water walking, which had taken him a full month to get battle ready.

With the essentials out of the way, she moved him into more combat training, things like intermediate tactics, basic battle psychology, the like. She had even stepped up his training for his fire element. She would do mock battles with him, using solely ice magic to force him to fight at a temperature disadvantage.

She had also managed to talk him into not revealing the fruits of his labor to Kakashi, mostly through manipulating his desire to be a proper ninja, stealth factors and all that jazz. This worked well into Naruko's favor; since it would allow Sasuke to see how poorly Kakashi- one of Konoha's best jonin- was at his job. The dissatisfaction he felt when Kakashi final started taking his training seriously would be so powerful, that it would drive the Uchiha right into Naruko's clutches!

Honestly, she disliked the scarecrow with a passion, but he was certainly a boon to her plans, without knowing it of course.

But, that didn't matter much right now, since the band of merry idiots- with Naruko's clone in tow- were making their way through the mission hall, ready to get another mission.

"Can I pop yet?" the Naruklone asked in a bored tone.

"No." Kakashi grumbled with his nose buried in his smutty book.

A pout of frustration marred the doppelganger's face, "Oh, phooey."

Entering into the main area were mission were handed out, Kakashi's squad rolled up on the desk where a chipper Iruka and a weary Hiruzen were seated. The scarred chunin gave a simple wave, as he greeted the team. "Ah, Team Seven, back ahead of time! I trust the mission was a success?"

Lifting his face from the book, Kakashi gave his signature eye smile at the two, "Of course, wouldn't want a failed D-rank in my record." Looking at the collection of scrolls on the desk, Kakashi noted there was quite the influx today, "Hmm… A lot of missions today, I think my team can handle another."

A groan of annoyance came from the pink howler of the group, though her teammates didn't fair much better. Hearing they had another chore to deal with made a vein appear on Sasuke's temple, growling out an angry "Hn..." Naruko on the other hand, had her eyes shift to red, and claws extend.

"Well then, we've certainly got a good selection! For D-ranks we have one woman who needs her garden weeded, a councilman who's grandson needs a babysitter, and eve-"

Before Iruka could continue to list off torture metho- I mean, missions- Naruklone appeared in front of the desk, leaning on it with an innocent smile as she stared down Hiruzen, "Oi, knock knock, old monkey~"

Being able to see where this conversation was going to go, Sarutobi sighed to himself before playing along dejectedly, "…Who's there?"

"A boot~"

"A boot who…?"

"My boot going knee deep in the next client who tries to tell me what to do~" the blonde said whimsically, before adding in an annoyed tone, "Seriously though, old bastard, I may just be a clone, but I refuse to do this anymore."

Standing up, her ex-instructor moved in to talk to the young girl directly, "Naruko, every genin has to do these missions. You aren't some kind of exception!"

"I demand my rights!"

"You're a clone, you have no rights." Kakashi said with his single eye fallen into a deadpan.

"What?! We don't even have a union? What kind of back asswards place do we live in?!" The cloned girl shouted, her hands pulling the long bangs of her hair with enough force to almost dispel her.

"Hmm…" Sarutobi hummed softly, as he looked through the giant list before him, "A low C-rank is available… What do you think Kakashi; would your team be ready for a harder mission?"

Kakashi was honestly not sure if they were, but getting outside of Konoha would allow him to get some better insight into Naruko's character. Being outside the place that gave her so much hell, may just be enough to cool her off of all that hostility… or give her a chance to run away. Mentally sighing to himself, Kakashi knew that he was fucked regardless, so he would have to give it a shot. And if she did try to escape him, he could always attempt to immobilize her as best he could and drag her back- I don't know about y'all, but I think he's pretty delusional.

"I think my team is at a suitable point for a tougher mission, sir." Kakashi said with a bit of weariness in his voice.

Thinking about the danger she'd possibly be in, Sakura turned a bit green, though she pushed it down because Sasuke looked very pleased by the challenge.

Naruko on the other hand, was ecstatic, her oceanic eyes lit up with glee, "Oh, thank Kami! Will there be killing? Are we assassinating someone? Oh, please tell there will at least be blood?"

Almost everyone gave the bloodthirsty blonde a blank stare, the adults worried about letting her loose on the world, Sakura was just straight fucking scared, and the last Uchiha seriously questioned why he choose such a bat-shit tutor.

"Just send the damn client in, please." Sarutobi asked whilst rubbing his head, tired of dealing with Naruko.

After a few minutes, a bearded old man wearing cheap rags and a straw hat walked in and gave the group a once over. As he looked at them, almost everyone's nose crinkled at the smell of alcohol that permeated off the man.

"What's this?! I asked for ninjas, not brats." He said in irritation, taking another swig of the bottle in his hand, "I mean hell, the pink haired one looks useless, the edgy one looks like he listens to too much Linkin Park, and don't get me started on this little-"

"Did you know that the human body is sixty percent water? I wonder how painful it would be to get frozen solid?" The little witch asked, her face bearing an innocent, yet confused look.

For his part, the client didn't miss a beat, quickly changing his attitude with sweat dripping from his brow, "-this little sweetheart in the front, who seems to be the best ninja in the world! Yeah…"

Naruko chuckled at the speed that he turned his tone around, seems like his drinking hasn't affected his rationality that much. Keeping up her innocent act, Naruko gave him a sweet smile, "Thank you, Drunkard-san~ Maybe if you keep buttering me up, I won't kill you at the end of this mission~"

"Naruko, don't threaten the client." Kakashi chided lightly.

"No promises~"

Quickly chugging the rest of his booze, hoping to get a little liquid courage, the old drunk finally introduced himself, "A-anyways, I'm Tazuna, the super builder of bridges! Please take super care of me on the way back home."

Nodding his head, Kakashi gave Tazuna an eye smile, "But of course, Tazuna-san. If nothing else, I am an elite Jonin of this village, so you'll be in good hands." Turning back to look at his squad, he motioned for them all to listen up, "All right minna, I want you to meet at the front gate in one hour, bring supplies for a month-long mission." Kakashi ordered, getting affirmatives from both Sakura and Sasuke, with Naruko's clone just looking purely apathetic.

"Whatever, I'm going to pop." She stated simply, before a quick pulse of chakra caused her to expel out into a cloud of smoke.

* * *

Sitting back at the cottage, Naruko and Evangeline were currently preoccupied with a heated match of one of their various fighting games. The game was fairly close, Eva had won the first two rounds effortlessly, but Naruko had taken back the next two with a fair deal of trials. Now they were in the endgame, with Naruko's character locking Eva's into a combo chain that threatened to take the whole match.

It was an eloquent and slow dance, with every hit Eva was sent back and forth, up and down, completely stopping her from doing anything. The health bar was fast approaching the end, with the color changing to red, and a black notification saying "DANGER", she only needed to do a few more loops to finish the game!

But, suddenly in the middle of the assault, a quickly flicker of hesitation came when she received the memories of her clone. Her mind automatically paused, forcing itself to intake new information. It was quick lived, but the distraction proved to be too powerful, for as soon as she looked back at the screen, Eva's character was in the start up animation for an instant-kill move.

The poor girl didn't even have time to escape the move, a mere ten frames of start up on the hit box, so she knew that this was a massive L. Naruko put her head down in anger, her fists clenching at how cucked she felt. She never won at fighting games! She wasn't even bad, her Mistress was just unparalleled at everything, video games, chess, Monopoly, even fucking trivia games weren't safe from Eva's reign!

And this time, she had her on the fucking ropes, only to get distracted at the worst time possible. Crossing her arm, the slightly taller blonde huffed out a brief curse, "Fucking clone..."

A massive grin split Eva's face, her metaphorical champions belt still firmly held at the hip, "Seems like you still can't win, young padawan. Maybe you'll learn not to mess with the master~" She teased lightly, before raising an eyebrow in confusion, "So, what took your clone so long today?"

Naruko huffed out a bit of air, before kissing her teeth, "I gotta escort a stupid drunkard back to his dumb little country..."

Eva nodded to herself, reaching a hand up and stroking her chin lightly, "What country is it and how long will you be gone?"

The student gave a mild shrug, her clone didn't pay too close attention to everything that was said, "I dunno, some kind of island nation. Didn't really get much details, but Hatake did say to pack for a month."

"I see..." Eva said, entrancing herself into thought, "Well then, Naruko, I have some instructions for you."

No later than a second after those words left the dark loli's mouth, Naruko stood up, at full attention, "Yes, Mistress?"

Looking at her little apprentice, it was impossible for Eva to not think about how insanely cute Naruko was when she was being all serious~ Such a good girl who always was ready to listen to Mommy~

But she didn't let any maternal instincts get in the way of her authority. No, she had to keep up her role as Naruko's mentor and master, "While you don't have to be cordial, you are to not slaughter the people of this nation. You will be starting your first lesson on making your own spy network. One cannot be a Queen without eyes and ears following the peons that serve you. This will be your chance to obtain your first set of eyes outside this village, and as such I will expect a certain level of achievement. I don't care how you do it, but you will obtain at least three spies while in this nation, and should you fail… Well, I'm sure you can think of some possibilities on your own."

A lump came up within Naruko's throat, which she desperately tried to swallow down. Mistress was always so scary when she was serious, "I-I understand, Mistress! I won't fail you!"

Eva's face relaxed a touch, shifting from strict leader to her more caring persona in a matter of seconds. She didn't enjoy being so harsh with her pseudo-daughter, but she did need to be in order to make Naruko take things seriously. The young girl had a very bad habit of flying by the seat of her pants, and it wasn't too becoming of a future queen. A hand extended from Eva's sat position, tracing the locks of her apprentice's hair, "I know you won't, you _are_ my daughter, after all~ But, I don't want you messing around on your mission. I just want you to take your future seriously, okay?"

Naruko's cheeks flushed faintly at the words her mistress spoke, it always made her feel mildly embarrassed when she brought up her… less than serious attitude. But, she feel a soft warmth inside every time Evangeline referred to her as a daughter. It felt nice and… right.

Shaking her head to rid her face of the blush, Naruko stood back up at full posture, giving Eva a small nod, "I'll get going now, Mistress. And don't worry, Zero-chan and I will take this absolutely seriously!"

"Good, good. Also, get me some sake or a collectible trinket while you're there!" Eva impishly ordered, getting a soft affirmative from the blonde apprentice.

The chibi immortal just hoped that she wouldn't get some horribly disgusting alcohol or tacky shell necklace upon Naruko's return.

* * *

**Konohagakure Gate**

* * *

Naruko walked with a mild bit of pep in her step, with Chachazero hanging limply in her arms. She wasn't really excited about this mission, but she was incredibly happy with the extended faith that her mistress had shown her with this new assignment. Over her shoulder was the strap to a small satchel that held all of her sealed equipment. She had the usual stuff she brought everywhere, but she also had some… surprises and tools to use for her mistress's assignment.

Moving past the gate to the village, she could see Tweedledee and Tweedledum standing around the client with backpacks filled with goodies. And by goodies, I mean tools of killing, maiming, and all other ninja things- and Sakura had some make-up kits or some shit, I don't think any of us care about her though.

As she stopped next to the others, Sasuke gave a brief inclination of his head in a subdued greeting, and the other two gave the blonde scared smiles, hoping that she wouldn't eviscerate them, "Salut, peons and drunkard~" Her voice was chipper, and her tone sweet, despite the insulting title she gave to her teammates and client.

Sakura chuckled nervously, she never saw Naruko happy, except in circumstances where she was ready to slaughter some people and/or mind fuck them, "Y-you seem chipper today, McDowell-san!"

An innocent and twinkly smile made its way on to the young witch's face, though it failed to reach her gleaming and murderous eyes, "What can I say? I'm excited to rid myself of this shit hole for a little while. For the first time in a while, I'll be able to exterminate some pest that aren't from my stomping grounds! Who knows, I may be able to try out some of my more unique euthanasia techniques~"

Sakura shivered at how casually the blonde talked about killing, while the drunkard casually threw the bottle up and chugged the fuck outta it, and Sasuke stood around, curious to see more of Naruko's abilities.

Naruko turned around and looked into a tree, her magic sensing the cycloptic jonin, "Hatake, come down here already. I want to be elbow deep in a corpse by yesterday, and you're dragging us down." She called out, making Kakashi appear with his book in hand and a twitching eye from how unhip he looked being found out.

"Naruko, I want to look cool in front of the client. Is it so much to ask, that you just let me do my thing?" The man said with a bit of ice and a hint of sarcasm.

The young girl scoffed, before cocking her eyebrow at her 'superior' with a shit eating grin, "If that was your pathetic attempt at being edgy and cool, then sorry to say- Too bad, you'll never be rad."

'_I can act all chill and savage while quoting Filthy Frank too, you little she-devil...__' _Kakashi thought in mild aggravation as he put his book away, "Alright minna, we're going to Nami no Kuni to return Tazuna-san home and protect him while he builds his bridge. Team 7, let's move out." he said with a lazy tone as he turned around and headed for the road with his team following suit.

* * *

The first few hours of the walk was very boring, just walking while listening to the pink howler talk with the drunkard. Though, it wasn't all bad, while they talked, she managed to listen in to some of the more important details about the Country of Waves. The country had no actual military presence, and merely served as a country for importing/exporting goods and services. That meant that Naruko wouldn't have to worry too much about anyone catching onto her spies, and it meant that she could possibly use this as a little safe space for any future needs should things go well here.

There was, however, a little bit of hesitation on the drunk's end when it came to talking about the country. It was subtle, but for someone adept at reading people, it was plain to see. Something was wrong with the country, something that would cause the man to be on edge. It didn't _really_ matter, since Naruko was certain she could deal with any threat that could come up, but it did make the blonde curious. Her mistress's love for conspiracies and mysteries rubbed off on her a little too well.

Naruko pulled herself out of her thoughts, when she felt a signature, and followed its direction to see a puddle. Her face remained unflinching, but internally, she was desiring to grab a mallet and bash her own skull in, _'They can't be serious right? __A puddle… A fucking puddle. Its fucking summer and it hasn't rained in a few days! How the hell did they think that this was a good idea!?__'_

Not wanting to think about how brain-dead the would be assailants were, Naruko disappeared via a **「****Shundo****」** and was right over the puddle with a fist encased in ki. Smashing her arm down, the ground quaked as two men with scratched hitai-ate's wearing cloaks slammed into a set of trees behind them. Naruko didn't need to put in much more thought, since Sasuke quickly joined her by springing into action with four kunai attacked with ninja wire. He let loose the knives, two aimed to the sides of each foe, the inertia causing the spool of wire to wrap around the tree, ensnaring the two of them.

Naruko smirked to herself, with a feeling of triumph in her teaching ability. Sasuke's wits in battle had certainly become quicker and more methodical ever since he started learning from her. There was barely a split second in between her **「****Shundo****」**and his follow up. Perhaps he had figured them out ahead of time too, and was merely waiting for an opportunity to strike. Whatever the case may be, Naruko conceded to upping the Uchiha's training a bit next session.

Kakashi whistled idly to himself, surprised that Naruko worked with someone, and with the Uchiha at that. Perhaps he might buy a scratch off ticket when he got home, his luck seemed up for it, "Ma, ma. Nice work Naruko, Sasuke." Walking up beside his students, Kakashi gave the duo a once over. They were clearly from Kiri, given the headband, but their headbands had custom 'horns' on them, making them look a little more themed to demons, "Chunin ranked Nuke-nin, Oni Kyodai… What are you doing here?"

The brother with two horns and wild hair growled angrily, "Even if you got the drop on us, we won't tell you tree fucking bastards nothing!"

Naruko chucked at the fool's show of bravado, that won't get him very far with her as his captor, "Even after you got molly-whopped harder than an illegitimate child, you still want to act all tough? I'd say I admire your courage, but I know its all blissful ignorance~"

Her hand came up to the dual horned one's head, her palm clasped at his forehead, much to Sakura's confusion, "Um… McDowell-san, what are you doing?"

"Hush now, chatty monkey!" Naruko hissed lightly, her other hand coming up to shush the pinkette, who was currently fuming inwardly at the insult, "Now, you're going to be answering my questions. And be careful, cuz if mama don't like what she hears, you're bound to get yourself killed, kay?"

"Like you got the balls, you little DnD looking ass wannabe!" the two horned brother bark out, clearly happy with accidentally signing his own death warrant.

Naruko scoffed at him, her teeth coming together to grind with more force than a black hole, "Bitch, the fuck'd you just say to me? You must have been eating some serious ass last night, for you to be talking shit like that!" The little witch reared her hand back, her eyes gleaming with murderous intent, "Now let me make one thing clear. I'm a fuck-mothering black mage… I've killed a _lot_ of people to get this title; I deserve to be referred to as such!"

As soon as she hissed out the last syllable of her sentence, the clenched muscles of her arm suddenly rocketed forward at break neck pace. The speed of the motion caused steam to form from the friction of the air rubbing together. No one could see the collision of her open palm and his face, only hear the deafening clap of skin on skin, followed by the sound of bones crackling.

For a few seconds, the silence hung- so silent that you could hear a pin drop- as the steam cloud surrounding the nuke-nin's head dissipated. With the fog lifted, everyone could see the warped skin that wrapped around his neck. Twisted and mangled from having his neck do multiple spins around the pivot point that was his spine, and a massive red hand print that marred his cheek- the heat seemingly corroded away a bit of the epidermal layer of skin, revealing a soft pink hue.

"Oops, I broke him." The blonde muttered, her voice icy and devoid of empathy, _'M__istress__ always said I played a bit rough with my prey.'_

"Holy shit, you killed him!" the cloaked nuke-nin with one horn screeched out in a very girlish fashion. Sakura would have joined him in screeching, but she was currently preoccupied with an appointment with the shrubbery, regurgitating her entire lunch.

Sasuke was wondering how his head rotated so far around without breaking off or protruding some bone. It made no physical sense that it just _spun._

And Kakashi… Kakashi slapped his forehead, wondering why he got the one ultra-violent child of the graduates.

"Oh well, at least I got two of them." She said without care and placed her palm on the remaining nuke-nin's forehead, her hand rapping around the horn to stop him from trying something stupid, "Now… _「__Who__」_ were you going to attack?"

"F-fuck off, you psycho!" his voice was hoarse from the girly screams.

"The drunk, huh? _「__W__ho__」_ do you work for?"

"Did… D-did you just read my mind?!"

"Momoichi Zabuza, never heard of him. _「__Who__」_ does your boss work for?"

"How the hell are you doing this?!"

"Gatou, of The Gatou Shipping Corporation Inc. LLC- that's a dumb fucking name." Naruko's face upturned into a mischievous and wicked smile, "Kay last question, _「__who__」_ pitches and _「__who__」_catches?"

"W-wait..."

Naruko blink incredulously, her mind struggling to comprehend the information she just received, "Huh..."

The cloaked ninja's eyes watered up, his breathing hitched, "P-pleased don't s-s-say anything..."

"In the original version of this fanfic, I would have been disgusted by the mental image that you just forced into my head. But this is a rewrite, its 2019 now, so this is a kink shame free zone." Naruko leaned down on one knee, putting a hand on the man's shoulder in support, "If you and your brother want to spit-roast a gay midget on top of his pet goat, then you do you. Don't let the haters get ya down."

"T-thanks… I- I… N-no one's ever been so… Supportive."

"It's not problem, my dude. Gotta support ya fellow man's hustle." Naruko looked up in the page to see how many words she's spoken in this strange meta section, seeing the limited resources left for this gag, she pat the man's shoulder, "Well, the script says that I gotta kill ya now, and I'm only allowed so much room for 4th wall humor. Sooo…." Her voice lingered, as a magical arrow of ice quickly appeared and impaled his temple, running through his brain and leaving him dead.

Turning around like nothing happened, Naruko gave the others her trademarked innocent smile, chirping with glee, "My, my… Seems like things are actually starting to get interesting."

Kakashi stared blankly at the blonde for several seconds, debating internally about asking Naruko what that entire interaction was about. But ultimately, he just sighed before turning to speak with Tazuna, knowing that the girl wouldn't answer his questions anyway, "So, Tazuna-san, why does this Gatou want you dead?"

Tazuna started to sweat, worried that his bodyguards might leave him, "The bridge I'm building is what he's after… He has a monopoly on our exportation, so a new way to transport goods without going through him will cut into his control."

Naruko's face suddenly became giddy with excitement, "So, your telling me, that you want to take back your land from a dictator?" A brief grunt of 'basically' from the old bastard was all the answer she needed, "Oh hell yeah, Viva La Revolution! I'm soooo getting in on this~"

"Naruko, didn't you say Momoichi Zabuza was in charge of those two? He's an A-rank Jonin like me, it's too dangerous for you guys." Kakashi said with worry for his genin, clearly forgetting the beating that he received months ago when their team was formed.

Naruko giggled to herself, shrugging off the jonin's warning, "Oh please, Hatake, life's no fun without a bit of adventure. All work and no play makes Naruko an angry girl~"

Sakura was still shivering over a bush, her face white from both the things she witnessed, and the new feeling of emptiness her stomach felt, "But M-McDowell-san, this is too much fo-"

"I say we should go." Sasuke said with confidence, he knew that McDowell could handle anything, and this could be a great chance to get stronger himself.

The second he made his opinion known, Sakura instantly came off the sidelines. Now standing at Sasuke's side, looking healthy in an instant, "Yeah, what Sasuke-kun said! Shannaro!"

Kakashi looked at the kids, seeing that they were serious, "Fine, but be sure to follow my exact orders. That goes double for you, Naruko." A chuckle came from the blonde, her smile was far too mischievous. _'__She's ignoring me, isn't she?'_

"Thank you, all of you." Tazuna said, bowing lowly in a show of thanks.

* * *

As they neared the water bordering Ni no Nami, the group met with an old friend of Tazuna's, who used his boat to smuggle them into the country. From there, there was a simple series of out of the way forested roads to get back to Tazuna's residence. Though, if you have any understanding of Murphy's Law, then you could guess that something came up before reaching their destination.

During their trek, the rustling of a bush caught the ears of the group, causing Sasuke to instantly flick out a kunai into the bush. A small rabbit jumped out and ran for its life, scared half to death by the weapon thrown at it. But, this wasn't a normal rabbit, its fur was a crisp, clean white, not a normal shade for a rabbit in the middle of summer. No, this was a domestic rabbit, being used as a substitute target. Having figured this out, Kakashi extended his senses a bit with chakra, and heard a faint whizzing of _something_ flying through the air.

"Team, get down!" Kakashi shouted, pushing down the old bridge builder, with his team following suit barely dodging a giant zanbatou. Except for Naruko, who decided to bend backwards like she was playing limbo, barely dodging the sword for extra style points.

The group looked up to see the large zanbatou stuck into the side of a tree with a muscular man standing on top of it. Said man was shirtless, with two cameo style bands on arms and over his calves- which his greyish-blue pants were tucked into. His face was covered in bandages up to his nose and his headband, which held up his spiky black hair, was tied slanted, with the plate to the side of his head The symbol of Kiri displayed on the head band with a slash mark running across the center.

From his vantage point, the man laughed with a gravely, yet sexy voice, "Well, well, well... If it isn't Hatake Kakashi." (Bruh, y'all don't understand how wet my panties are for Zabuza)

Kakashi stood at full height and glared at the man, "Momoichi Zabuza, the Kirigakure No Kijin. I never would have expected someone like you to be working for scum like Gato."

Zabuza shrugged, not really caring all too much about _who_ his employer was, "It pays the bills. Besides, it's all worth it if I get to fight an opponent like you. Back in Kiri, you were listed in our bingo book as an A-ranked shinobi with a kill-on-sight order- worth quite a bit of money too. Copy Ninja Kakashi, the man who copied over a thousand jutsu."

Sakura's mouth widened, surprised by how the information that this nuke-nin had,_ 'I had no idea that Sensei was so famous.'_

"Now that the pleasantries are out of the way, why don't you hand over the old man? If you do, I'll let you and your Genin squad go." Zabuza suggested offering a peaceful solution out of respect for an ex-fellow swordsman.

"Sorry, but our job is to keep him alive, and I don't like to have failed missions on my record." Kakashi said, as he pulled his headband off to reveal the sharingan that hid underneath, "Guys this might be dangerous, so stay back and protect Tazuna-san…"

"Heh, guess I'll get to see the famous eye in action after all." Zabuza said, as he let loose chakra into the area, making a thick mist cover everyone's sight.

It wasn't long until the sound of Zabuza's laughter had filled the air, "Eight points," he said, with a chilling tone, "Heart, spine, lungs, kidney, larynx, jugular, subclavian artery, and liver. I wonder which one you'll die from today?"

Kakashi and Sasuke tensed themselves for a fight, Sakura and Tazuna were scared shitless, and Naruko was playing with Chachazero with a mild blush on her face. The way Zabuza talked about killing was… charming to her, "Do you think he likes younger girls, Zero-chan?"

"Dunno, Naruko-chama, but he sounds like someone I could get along with." Zero said with a giggle, as Naruko set her down.

Naruko nodded solemnly, and cast **「****Melodia Bellax****」 **to get ready for the fight ahead of her.

**「****Negari Lux, Nutritus Obs****c****uri, Atrati Cor: Veniant Spiritus Glacial****a****s! Extenta Aeri Tundram et Glaci****a****m, Loci Noct****u****s Albae! Emittam!****」 **she whispered, using the **「****Emittam****」** activation key for delayed spells, so she could whip one out quick, if necessary. **「****Negari Lux, Nutritus Obs****c****uri, Atrati Cor: Unus Fulgor Concidens Noctem, in Mea Manu Ens Inimicum Edat! Emittam!****」** She giggled lightly, a backup couldn't hurt to have~

After casting her spells, Zabuza was in the middle of the group with no time to spare, his large sword poised to strike Kakashi in the back. But he couldn't swing his sword- no, there something stopping him.

Zabuza looked at the blade that stopped his own. It too was a zanbatou, except it didn't have just one blade, but rather four! Four blades all stacked together at the end of a ring- a ring the size of someones head- that had a handle in it. The blade was impressive, but it was the one wielding that caught his attention.

It was the blonde girl in the witch hat, and she was only using one hand to hold the blade. Her hat covered her eyes, but he could see her smile- a type of bloodthirsty smile that he was all too familiar with- growing on her face.

He pushed his sword with more force, but the blonde's grip didn't even budge.

"Nice dagger, but four swords are better than one~" Naruko jovially chided, as she used some ki to enhance her strength and push the man back several meters.

Slowly, the blonde inched towards the ex-kiri shinobi, tossing her hat to the side for Zero to hold, "Hatake, I'm going to have some fun with this, so be a good boy and stay out of my way."

"Naruko, this isn't a game! Zabuza is a missing-nin, he'll kill you!"

"To you this might not be a game, but…" she trailed off as she looked at Zabuza with a gleeful look, like a child finding a new toy, "Mama's looking to play~"

"You got guts girly, you really want to mess with the Kirigakure no Kijin?" he asked curtly, expecting the girl to have some kind of fearful reaction.

But Naruko wasn't your average person, she wasn't scared of him in the slightest- no, she giggling at him instead, "Do you really want to go against the Black Witch, mummy man?"

"Wait… K-Kirigakure no Kijin?" Sakura asked with a gulp.

Kakashi nodded his head, wearily recalling the name, "Hai, Sakura. That's Zabuza's title that he gained during the time of the bloody mist."

Zabuza chuckled in amusement, happy that Kakashi already knew his story, "So you've heard of the butcher's tale? I'm surprised, it would seem that my reputation precedes me."

Naruko hummed softly, and tilted her head in thought, "Wasn't that the time where Kiri had the bright idea to start slaughtering one another, wasting cannon fodder for no reason?"

"One in the same." Kakashi said as he ignored her analogy, before adding to the tale, "The practice was halted when one person, a boy, slaughtered an entire graduating class at once."

Everyone who wasn't informed about the even gasped at the brutality; everyone, except for Naruko, who's eyes began to get filled with hollow anger.

"Ah, such good times." Zabuza said from the pleasure of walking down memory lane.

Naruko's eye began to twitch, her palm grasping her zanbatou with enough force to make her knuckles white, "...Is that it?" she asked with sheer disappointment dripping from her words like a venom. Whatever small crush, lust, or otherwise positive feeling she felt for the nuke-nin were canceled immediately, "That shit's nothing compared to some of the stuff I've done!"

Zabuza cocked an eyebrow, interested in her claim, "Oh really… And what, exactly, have you done, girly?"

Kakashi's eyes widened, he knew exactly where this was going, and he didn't want to scar his other genin with the events of _that_ incident, "Naruko, whatever you do, do _NOT_ talk about that!"

"You know, Hatake, when someone tells you not to do something, people tend to do it anyways." The blonde said with mirth, before turning back to Zabuza to start her tale, "Back in my younger day, when I was roughly eight or so; I left the village to visit a neighboring town that was holding a festival. It was a fun time and I even bought a candy apple. It was sooooo yummy~" Her story cut off for just a moment, as she snuggled herself, just thinking about how tasty the apple was, "I was enjoying myself so much, until some idiot bumped into me, making me drop my treat on the ground. I was upset with him, and told him to buy me another one. But he just laughed in my face and tried to make me to apologize for bumping into him… so I ripped his head off~!"

She said that with so much glee, that it made everyone- even Sasuke, who was kind of used to her attitude by this point- take a step back from the insane blonde. But Naruko didn't really care, and simply continued with her story, her eyes glazed over at the memory, "His friends tried to get revenge, but they didn't last much longer than the first one. And since they were a part of some kind of mob that ran this town, they all came after me too. So, I slaughtered an entire town of people, even the innocent men, women, and children who had nothing to do with it, just to make a point." She put her hand to her chin, and poked her lips in thought, "Hmmm… I think I decapitated twelve, disemboweled sixteen, ripped twenty hearts out, choked thirty, made fifty die from blood loss and removed limbs, and the rest were crucified with their puppies and kittens~"

Zabuza blinked at her with a drop of sweat rolling down his forehead, clearly questioning the girls sanity, "And you did all that, because of a candy apple?"

Naruko nodded sadly, her eyes watering from the loss of such a lovely confection, "It was a granny smith with warm caramel and crushed, roasted, unsalted pistachios."

"…You are one sick little girl." And this was fucking Zabuza saying that, dude! He knows some sick mother fuckers, but this little bitch with blonde hair just took the cake.

"I know~ Now, how about we go about trying to kill each other, yes?" she asked, before vanishing with a **「****Shundo****」** and appearing behind the man, already swinging her blade down.

Zabuza turned around quickly and grunted under the strength the blonde put into the swing. The two of them began a dance of blades. Swinging, parrying, dodging were all they did for several minutes, as they struggled against each other for control of the flow.

Having toyed with the thought of dueling for long enough, Naruko jumped back with a smile. She stretched out her arm, and her sword's blades fell outward, turning into a giant shuriken, "This right here is why my baby's got four blades! Pretty fucking sick, huh?" she asked childishly, as she pulled a cord on the handle. The blades began to spin around the ring, turning it into a windmill of death, and Naruko threw it at her adversary.

Lunging forward after her sword-turned-shuriken, Naruko transformed her outstretched hands' nails into claws.

Now naturally, she didn't have claws like her Mistress did, but by manipulating the Kyuubi's chakra into her finger tips, she could grow sharp claws- which could became even sharper with the use of ki. On a side note, yes, Eva did make her train with her Biju's chakra. And once she and the beast found a common ground- in the fact that they both like to kill things- they worked together every once in awhile. Hell, she let him take control every now and then, but only when they were in the resort. In all honesty, Kyuubi was a pretty chillax partner, just a shame that they couldn't talk without her being comatose or meditating.

Back in reality, Zabuza dodged the giant shuriken, but Naruko was all over him in a second with her clawed hands, swiping at the man's ribs. Managing to dodge her strike, he went to counter, but his instincts told him that there was danger behind him. Looking back, he could see the large throwing star was coming at him, so without time to dodge again he swung his sword to deflect it. But, that left him open, allowing Naruko to claw his back, giving him five deep gashes that spilt blood all over the ground.

"Fuckin'… Gwah!" Zabuza roared as he turned to swing at the girl, only to have her roll under it and claw at his head quickly. But the swordsman weaved his head to dodge the attack, and managed to jump, getting out of the way of the giant shuriken this time.

Naruko **「****Shundo'd****」**a few meters away and activated one of her spells, **「****Duratus in Tellustres!****」** the ground began to freeze and jagged pillars of ice erupted from the ground.

"What!?" the man shouted in shock at what he thought was Hyoton, _'I thought Haku was the only Yuki left!?'_ He rapidly moved to dodge the pillars of ice, nearly getting impaled several times. However, his movement was halted when he stepped on one of the ice patches on the ground. It felt like he was stuck to the ground, he tried to move his feet, but it seemed to be impossible, "What? Why can't I move?!"

The blonde kissed her teeth, with a slightly saddened look on her face, as she caught the spinning blade, "Tsk, tsk, what a shame… You know, if you had kept an eye on the icy patches and avoided them, you wouldn't have gotten stuck." Collapsing and stowing the shuriken, she **「****Shundo'd****」 **in front of the man, where her hand was placed up his chest,"Oh well, it was fun while it lasted… Bye, bye~"

**「****Albica****a to ****Fulguratio!****」** she chanted causing white lightning erupted from her hand, trailing throughout Zabuza's body. He shouted in pain as the lightning made every muscle expand and contract; every nerve fire off in pain; and his organs to clock themselves into overtime, making him drop his sword while falling to the ground.

But, despite the intense pain- and obvious lack of consciousness- the man still wasn't dead, as evident by his slow breathing. And boy, did Naruko look impressed by this fact, "I put some power behind that one and your still alive? Man, you've got some tenacity and perseverance, don't you?" she asked, before holding out her hand with blue energy wrapping around it like a knife, "You put up a decent fight, but it was pretty pointless against someone like me."

Just as she brought her hand down to put him out of his misery, two senbon flew into Zabuza's neck taking the satisfaction from her. Naruko gasped audibly, as a new voice called out from the forest, "Thank you for the assistance, Konoha shinobi." This polite voice belonged to a young hunter nin- if they're mask was anything to go by- who's gender was a little on the ambiguous side, due to the loose fitting blue robe and brown pants they wore.

Looking at the hunter, Naruko's eyes grew more and more fogged by anger, "You… you fucking kill steal!" she shouted in fury, pointed at Zabuza with an angry pout and stomping her foot, "That was my kill; I worked hard to get it, and then you come fucking floundering along like a fucking bastard who's parents locked them in a closet for five years. You just yoinked my shit like it was going out of style! No 'Wow Naruko-sama, you worked so hard on that kill, can I suckle at the teat of your success?' or 'Thank you ever so graciously for the effort, Naruko-sama! Please don't kill me too.' No, you're just standing there like the fucking camper you are and acting like you did nothing wrong. I ought to beat your ass harder than your skeletal, gay ancestors will to your dead family when they find out how much of disappointment their child became!"

Slowly, Kakashi walked up behind Naruko, careful not to incur her wrath as well, "Um… Naruko, please calm down."

"Shut the fuck up, Hatake. I'm busy!" She hissed, "I worked for that kill! I don't care if striking from the dark is what Shinobi do! I was in slight euphoria during that fight and killing him would have made it perfect, so… Guess what bitch!?." She shouted as she jabbed her hand into Zabuza with the dagger sized **「****Ensis Exsequens****」**, the intense magical energy instantly vaporizing his body.

Naruko let loose a massive sigh of mild relief, as the hunter nin fell to their knees, "That's what you get… Kami, I feel so much better~"

"…You, you killed him…" the hunter nin said in shock, their head locked into view of the area where Zabuza's body used to be.

"That's right, bitch; if I ain't getting the credit for that kill, your ass ain't either." Naruko said as she picked up the Kubikiribocho and looked at it appraisingly. Seemingly satisfied, she slung it over her shoulder, "I'm gonna keep this, finders keepers after all." Turning back to her squad and Tazuna, everyone was wide eyed and scared. She was even sure that either Tazuna or Sakura pissed their pants at some point during her fight, though she paid them all no mind, "Crisis averted, people! Let's transform and roll out!"

Kakashi slowly covered his sharingan eye, his facial expression hollow after the encounter that they had, "Whatever, lets just fucking go, I'm too tired to care anymore..."

Team Seven and company all began to walk away, making sure to avoid the hunter nin. Who was still on the ground, scrambling to put the dirt that absorbed Zabuza's… remains(?) back together, all while mumbling over and over, "He's dead… He's dead…"

* * *

**Tazuna's Home**

* * *

Within record time, the group had finally reached their destination without any other incidents. Tazuna welcomed them to his lovely slice of hell, before knocking on the door.

A few seconds ticked by with the group waiting awkwardly for someone to answer the door. Thankfully, a beautiful woman with long blue hair opened answered, her face lighting up when seeing the drunkard, "Ah, Tou-san you're back!"

A hardly laugh came from the old contractor, as he wrapped his arms around his daughter, "It's good to see you again, Tsunami!" Pulling away, he gestured over to the group of Konoha shinobi, "Please meet the group I hired from Konoha, these super fine ninja are the reason I'm still walkin'!"

The fair woman bowed to the group, "Thank you so much for taking care of my father!"

Kakashi chuckled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head, "Ah, it's our job, no need for thanks." he said, trying to keep modest in front of an attractiv- I mean his team… Yeah... After all, a cocky and arrogant ninja was bad, he needed his students to take good qualities from him.

...But, Naruko is on his team, so that went down the drain immediately, when she butt in front of him, "You can try to act all cool on you're own time, Hatake, but as the person who did all the work so far; I will be taking all the praise. Especially from someone with such a cute and maternal aura~"

Tsunami blushed at the nice description of her attitude. She even felt a little surprised that she could guess that she was a mother, just from the air she held herself with, "Why thank you, Miss…"

Noticing that the older woman was hanging out for a name, Naruko walked up to her and extended a hand, "McDowell… Naruko U. McDowell- the Black Witch- at your service."

Graciously accepting the handshake, Tsunami looked a bit puzzled at the title that Naruko held, idly wondering what it meant, "Well, thank you, Miss McDowell. But, I must ask, where did you get such a title?"

Pulling her hand back, Naruko shrugged, not really wanting to tell her tale again, "Don't worry about it for now, Tsunami. I'm sure your father will tell you in due time, since he's already heard the story behind it."

"I hope so..." Tsunami opened the door to her household, gesturing inward, "Regardless, you all must be tired. We have a few spare rooms for you to use."

Tazuna was the first to step inside, followed by Kakashi, who was still trying to act all sheepish and grateful to Tsunami, "Thank you, Tsunami-san. We would have been more than happy to sleep on the ground or camp outside. Your graciousness is immeasurable."

Once again he was quickly thwarted in his attempts to remain cool, as Naruko bumped in on the conversation again, "Speak for yourself, Hatake! Traveling with your lazy ass was bad enough, but we also had to sleep in some stupid bed rolls on the ground. I don't care what you do, but mama wants to sleep in a real fuckin' bed for once!" Naruko's voice was practically filled with annoyance, she was trying to seem somewhat hospitable now that she was in Wave, but Kakashi's ass kissing was getting on her nerves. Like, seriously, if you wanna get laid so bad, just fuckin' get a prostitute like a real man.

Rather than try and reprimand her, or even defend himself from her insults, Kakashi just hung his head and walked inside quietly. Naruko's eyebrow quirked itself up, surprised that this mission, of all things, is the final straw of breaking the scarecrow's will. _'Damn, Naruko, you are too brutal sometimes~'_

After everyone came inside, they could hear the quick pattering of feet from upstairs. They were soft, but Naruko could tell they weren't 'someone was being sneaky' soft, more like a 'smol person' kinda soft. And sure enough down the stairs came a boy who seemed fairly happy at first, but the second he saw Naruko's squad, his expression sunk- and his eyes hollowed. Not put off at all, Tazuna walked up to the boy and softly pat his head, right over his fishing hat. "Hey there, Inari! You been good while I was gone?"

The boy's eyes lingered on the group, narrowing at Naruko's smug grin. The way she walked, the look in her eyes; they all made him so angry. How dare she come to their poor nation, and act like she doesn't have a care in the world!? But, he didn't want to shout, not when his grandpa just got home, so he just silently hugged the old man, "…I've been good." he said solemnly, before turning around to head back upstairs.

His words were empty, it was clear for anyone to tell. And his mother, was feeling intense worry when she saw the look in his eyes. She could tell, he was thinking about _him_, "Um… Inari, aren't you at least going to say hello?"

One second after the words came out of her mouth, she regretted saying anything. Inari's head turned, and he just glared at the gaggle of ninja, "Why? They're just going to die like every other 'hero.'"

Naruko daintily raised her hand to her mouth, attempting to hold in her laughter for several seconds. The barely hidden amusement that she had plastered on her face was pissing off Inari further, causing his face to sour even more. Finally, Naruko couldn't handle it anymore, she burst out laughing in an unhinged spree of witch-like cackles, "Oh my kami, your such an edgy little munchkin! 'Every other hero'- HA, that's a treat!"

Noticing the downward spiral of shit going down, Kakashi walked next to his 'student', before trying to play diplomat again, "Naruko, we don't need you scarring anyone again..."

The blonde got the rest of her chuckles out, before giving the kid one big cocky grin, "Fine, I'll spare you of the childhood trauma, kid. But know this, I'm no hero- I am Naruko U. McDowell, the most wicked witch you'll see this side of Kansas. So whatever your beef is with the 'hero' types, leave me out of it, and I'll let you keep your fragile mind intact, kay?~"

Inari huffed indignantly, before running upstairs, _'That's right, run you little shit.'_

Kakashi on the other hand, was currently on his knees, his single eye was visibly weeping. She listened to him… The little she-devil actually listened to him for once… And it didn't require any force…

Oh, holy hell, if he wasn't gonna by a lottery ticket when he got back before, he sure as hell was now! This kind of luck came once in a lifetime, and he sure as hell wasn't gonna waste it.

The cyclopic sensei was so beguiled by Naruko's sudden willingness to listen, that he failed to see his other two students looking at him with great shame and embarrassment. Sakura was trying to look like she wasn't associated with him, and Sasuke was openly glaring at the sad display.

But, like with most things, Naruko paid the disappointing scarecrow no mind, choosing instead to set Zero down and whip out the Kubikirbocho from her sealed bag, "I was gonna keep this bad boy for myself, but I probably won't use it since I have my own B.F.S.. So, you can have it, Zero-chan!"

The little doll carefully took the handle from her master, inspecting the weight of it in her hands. A few pumps up and down, and Zero was smiling brighter than the sun, "This'll be real handy! Thanks, Naruko-chama!"

"Also, while we walked here I noticed something about that sword, it's got a soul inside it. I 'talked' with it for a bit, and I learned that if it breaks all you need is to get some blood on it and the blade grows back." The blonde informed, causing the puppet to squeal in happiness.

Back across the room, Sakura finally worked up the courage to be associated with Kakashi, kneeling down and patting the man's shoulder to get his attention, "Hey, Kakashi-sensei, what should we do now?"

Kakashi swiftly stood up at full attention, his posture was rigid and straight, "Ahem! Well, it would seem unlikely that Gatou would let Tazuna-san off the hook easily, so he'll more than likely hire more nuke-nin. So, just in case Gatou does send more men after Tazuna-san, I'll train you guys while we guard the bridge and Tazuna-san." He concluded and Sasuke looked at the man with slight excitement at idea of getting trained by his _sensei_.

"So, your finally getting your ass in gear?" Naruko asked skeptically, causing Kakashi to quickly deflate and get sad again.

The depressed jonin just motioned at the door with a weary soul, "… Let's just go..."

* * *

**In a Nearby Forest**

* * *

"Now, I'm going to teach you three how to climb trees." The man said in a singsong voice, doing the classic eyesmile- which he hasn't done in a while, since Naruko entered his life.

"But Kakashi-sensei, we already know how to climb trees..."

"Without using your hands?" Kakashi asked in a smug tone, happy that at least one of his students was easy prey for his hip attitude.

"I do!" Naruko said from above, her behind planted on a branch above, sitting cross-legged and upside down.

_'__Of course,__ she _would_ be the one to__ already know this...'_ He thought in gloom, all happiness leaving his body from being denied his teaching by the girl, "Well, do you know how to-"

"Yes, Hatake, I can walk on water. Now, is that all you were going to teach us, or is there more?" The blonde asked, as she jumped down- making sure to hold her hat, so it wouldn't fall off.

Kakashi ran a hand through his hair, his eye was wandering in random directions, unable to meet the girl's gaze, "Well… I uh… could help you work on your taijutsu?"

Naruko's eye cocked itself, disappointed by the sheer lack of planning the man had, "I already have a fighting style."

"Ninjutsu?"

"Got multiple elements down."

"Genjutsu?"

"Got too much chakra."

Sweat started to from on Kakashi's forehead, as he listed off the last thing he was talent with, "Fuinjutsu?"

"I'm a fucking Uzumaki…" Naruko said with a sigh, before leveling her judging gaze on the man, "Okay, Hatake, you clearly have nothing to teach me that I don't already know. So why don't you go guard Tazuna's house, while _I _do the teaching?"

Kakashi was used to getting talked down to by Naruko by this point, hell, he was still proud of her whenever she acted all cool and aloof. Despite everything, he actually liked the girl, and he thought that she was just being a tsundere-esque student. But that line, that one line hurt more than any blade could. She was so disappointed, that she wanted to do his job for him, while he just sat back and focused on the mission, "B-but, I'm the sensei… I couldn't possibly let anyone, let alone one of my own students, teach for me…" His voice contained such intense levels of sadness, that Naruko almost felt bad for the weathered jonin- _almost._ Suddenly, Kakashi's eye gain a hint of a spark, almost as if his will was on its last stand, "W-why don't you go guard Tazuna-san?"

He was so pathetic that even Naruko's cold heart couldn't handle seeing him in such a state. She thought that she'd gotten rid of her altruistic attitude, but it seems that old habits die hard, "Watching tweedledee and tweedledumb fall off trees for a few hours sounds a hell of a lot more entertaining than listening to that brat whine. Besides, you've taught us nothing passed basic teamwork exercises for the past four months, I doubt that they'll get a lot outta your supervision."

Kakashi's eye widened, shocked beyond belief at the straight forward bashing that his student levied at him. Teamwork was important, Minato-sensei had always made that clear, and even Obito taught him that before his death. He didn't want them to make the same mistakes that he did… He didn't want his team to die and feel the same emptiness he did- was that so bad?

Though, internally he knew that Naruko cared very little for his intentions, especially given the way she'd been acting towards him this whole mission. He could sit here, and debate with the Naruko about his teachings, but he really didn't feel like losing any more will to live, he was already at a pretty big deficit. So, with a fair share of sadness, he nodded at the young girl, "Fine, I'll leave teaching chakra control to you, Naruko… While I'm protecting Tazuna-san, just… Make sure that Sasuke and Sakura are doing it well, please?"

And with no second to answer, Kakashi disappeared in a swirl of leaves, leaving the group of teens all on their lonesome. The 'Dark Avenger' of the group walked up to his magical tutor and glared mildly at the area that their sensei once occupied, "Hn, that was surprisingly pathetic."

Zero giggled at Sasuke's analysis and Naruko cocked an eyebrow at her pupil, "Which part?"

Sasuke grunted before leveling his gaze to meet hers, "A combination of his attitude and the 'training' he wanted us to do."

A smirk wormed its way onto her face- Kakashi just played right into her hands with this one. Now Sasuke had first hand knowledge of how inferior everyone else's teachings were compared to hers. Internally she was wringing her hands together, everything was going according to keikaku~ (Translators note: Keikaku means plan)

"Yeah, gotta agree with ya there. What kind of sensei waits four months to show their genin surface clinging? That was literally the first thing I taught you."

Doing his signature grunt, Sasuke gave the blonde a pointed look, "I assume that, because you got rid of Kakashi today, you have some training for me."

The doll master chuckled mirthfully, Sasuke really did have this whole situation figured out, huh? Reaching into her bag, she motioned for Sasuke to remove his arm warmers. After a few seconds to unbuckle them, he handed them over so that she may do her thing.

Turning the accessory inside-out reveal a decent sized chakra matrix that wrapped around the interior. With a single finger coated in chakra she smudged a few lines; her chakra destabilizing the ink, causing it to be removed. Pulling out a small bottle of ink and a quill, she got to work remaking the chakra matrix, though she changed a few lines and added another side proxy.

Satisfied with her work, Naruko held the armlets back to their owner, a smug smile on her face, "There ya go, Sasuke. Now your resistance seals are bumped up an additional ten percent and I even added a second way for you to remove the seal yourself. Just do the ram seal and focus your chakra into the third node of your arms; sounds tricky, but it ain't super precise so you can just eyeball it."

Putting them on, Sasuke could immediately feel the resistance increase on his muscles for any action. Moving into a combat stance, he took a few test swings to see how it would affect him, "Hn, definitely feels stronger…" Standing normally again he bowed his head lightly to the blonde, "Thank you, McDowell-sensei."

Waving the thanks off with a lazy expressions, Naruko put her things back in her sack, "Eh, its no problem. Consider it a reward for meeting my expectations with the Oni Kyodead idiots."

"Hn…" Looking back at Sakura- who was just standing around like a lost puppy, waiting for the two of them to get done- Sasuke groaned, "I'm going to take a guess here… You're gonna go take a nap, and make me teach her how to wall cling?"

Smirking, Naruko gave the Uchiha a cheeky look, "Only my student for four months and you already know me so well~"

Sasuke's guttural groan of annoyance gave Naruko some joy, she always loved fucking with her little minion in training. Before she could leave him to deal with that ball-busting task, he gave her a mild glare, "I'll train the banshee, on one condition." Naruko tilted her head to the side, a tad surprised that Sasuke made a demand from her. Ever since he started learning under her, he's been pretty quick to fall into line with her. Though, don't ever say she isn't altruistic, so she would be willing to hear him out, "That sword you gave to Chachazero, is it possible for me to get a sentient sword that is that powerful?"

That… was actually a good question. Naruko cupped her chin, thinking deeply about her light lessons on soul magic. It wouldn't even be fair to call it rare, the list of people with the ability to seal souls inside an object and have them merge was basically one-in-a-decillion. But… Zabuza's sword was sentient, and if she remembers right, he was part of the 'Seven Swords of the Mist' or some shit. So it might be possible that whoever made the Kubikiribocho made another sentient sword, or even a series.

"Hmmm… I won't say it's impossible, but it is highly improbable. Sentient swords aren't exactly a dime a dozen, so you'll either have to wait for me to get skilled enough to make one myself, or we could come across another one of Zabuza's old group…" Meeting his gaze, the blonde simplified everything for him, "If your patient, you'll get one eventually, whether its made by me or not. But I will give you my word to give it to you, should I find one that will match your style. Deal?"

"Deal, thanks again, McDowell-sensei."

"You better be fucking grateful, that'll be a lot of work… Regardless, I'm off, have fun with the useless wonder~"

* * *

**In a Chill Forest Clearing With Naruko**

* * *

After leaving tweedledee to teach tweedledumb, Naruko found a nice quiet spot, a fair distance into the forest around the village. Laying down with Zero on her stomach, she dozed off into dreamland- where she was swimming in a see of caramel apples.

Drool idly dripped from her mouth, as all around her was quiet. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse…

Until a loud ass war cry woke her up.

Years of instinct training allowed her to roll to the side, as needles made of ice rained down on the spot she once occupied.

Tipping the brim of her hat slightly, she could see the spots where the assailant was aiming, all perfectly centered around vital areas. "Nice move~" she complemented with a small round of applause to her attacker, who seem the hunter nin from earlier, though she didn't have her mask on. And yes its a her, Naruko couldn't see any boy having as pretty a face as this girl, "So we meet again, huh? You mad that I erased your mark's corpse?"

"He was still alive, you witch! And you killed him, you killed Zabuza-sama!" she shouted in anger, her chocolate brown eyes narrowed into unhinged rage; killing intent flowing freely into the air, making a cold blood-lust filled mist.

Naruko blinked indignantly and thought about it in her head, it was kind of weird that someone would use senbon to kill a target… "Now that you say it like that, I gotta admit: ya played me… Or should I say, 'would have played me'?" She mocked gleefully, before reigning in her sick enjoyment to politely ask, "As a sign of respect for your masterful play, may I get the name of my soon to be prey?"

"I am Haku, the last member of the Yuki clan..." She said as she held three senbon in between her fingers, "And I will avenge Zabuza-sama!" She shouted as she disappeared in great speed, rushing the blonde down. Unfortunately for her, even if she's fast, it would still be nothing compared to Eva's speed, so Naruko was able to dodge every attack with ease.

"Come on~ Is this all your revenge is worth?" Naruko taunted as she sent a volley of lightning arrows at the girl, who just barely had enough speed to avoid getting her head impaled.

Haku growled angrily, as she ran threw hand signs, causing a dome of ice plates to surround them, **"Makyō Hyōshō!"** As soon as they came into existence, Haku ran into the icy plate- melding into it and reflecting her image upon all of the mirrors, "This is the ultimate speed technique that Zabuza-sama and I made together. With this, I will finish you!"

Hundreds of senbon rained down on Naruko, who just smiled with a patronizing grin. With a wave of her hand a magic barrier was conjured, **「****Reflexio****」 **The magic barrier reflected all the needles back at the mirrors, causing the Yuki girl to grit her teeth, and Naruko to smirk, "A simple spell, but quite unbreakable. I wonder, how long you can keep this up?"

Haku continued her assault trying to get Naruko through a combination of senbon volleys and various hit-and-run attempts. She was at it for several minutes with an intense fervor, but she was slowing down.

Sighing to herself, Naruko had finally reached peek boredom with this fight, so she began to collect dark energy into her hand. Firing off over twenty arrows of darkness, she managed to destroy each mirror and hit Haku with a single attack. Launched back by the force of the spell, the ice girl slammed into a tree with enough force to tilt it slightly. She tried to get up, but was unable to, due to Naruko appearing before her. Pushing her down with a mighty grip of the girls throat, Naruko had her clawed hand held upwards, poised to strike.

"Tsk tsk, you've got quite the tenacity, Snowball. But tenacity means nothing when compared to a bad-ass black mage." The blonde scolded mockingly, her eyes meeting the slowly hollowing gaze of the girl below.

"...Just kill me already. You already took Zabuza-sama from me, and I couldn't even avenge him… I'm a useless, failure of a tool with no one to serve."

Naruko paused at those words, internally registering a connection that the two of them had… _'No. No no.. No no no...' _She thought in irritation, knowing that the stupid altruistic side of her brain was acting up again- seriously, she needs to talk to Eva about this when she gets home. But, Naruko could understand Haku in a weird way. She was pretty dedicated to Eva when she first started learning from her; if she hadn't been treated like a daughter by the vampire, she could have very well ended up like this sad girl. Internally she was debating on what to do with the little snow angel, and just as suddenly as a lightning strike, she got an idea!

"Hey, Snowball, how about you become my maid?" The blonde asked with a giddy tone.

The hollow eyes of the girl gained a bit of shine, mostly out of confusion, "...Maid?"

"Yeah, my maid! I already got Zabuza's sword, so it only makes sense that I also take his other- much cuter- tool too~" She said with a dark smile, her hand- now declawed- coming down to pet the girls face. Sidenote, her skin was smooth, and felt cold to the touch.

"I…I…" Haku sputtered with a mild blush, trying to say something… anything to her captor.

"C'mon Snowball, we could have so much fun! Besides, wouldn't it be nice to be able to stay in one place, and have your own bed?" the blonde asked, knowing what the girl craved. She wanted to be attached to something, to feel needed and loved- yet at the same time, she was starved for true companionship.

"…Okay." The Yuki said in a soft tone that had a slight shutter in it. She was… relieved? She felt needed again, someone would require her existence now.

"Good girl~" Naruko cooed as she stroked the girls' cheek affectionately, before turning to her little battle hungry doll, "Zero-chan, bring the little Snowball home for me, would you?"

Zero nodded, reaching out to pull Haku into a shadow, so they could go to her new home.

Now along Naruko chuckled darkly to herself, "Welcome to your new life Yuki Haku… I wonder what kind of _games_ we'll play first?" Oh, this rush was exhilarating! No wonder Master loved to corrupt people so much~

* * *

**Back at the Residence of Tazuna**

* * *

Feeling revitalized by the nap, and subsequent capturing of a new servant, Naruko returned to the crappy house with a mild bit of pep in her step. Walking in, she could see Sasuke leaning against a wall with an irritated expression on his face, Kakashi wallowing in the corner while hugging his book, and the family in the kitchen- the smell of food wafting through the house.

Walking up to the emo boy, she gave him a toothy grin and a teasing wink, "So, didja have fun with the howler?"

Sasuke growled lowly, his eyes narrowing into a heated glower at the blonde, "That little callous on the title kunoichi was insufferable! Half of the time we were alone, she was pestering me for dates and trying to seduce me. I'm surprised that I managed to get her to learn at all."

A brief chuckle came out of the blonde's mouth, amused by the single-mindedness that Sakura seemed to hold for being inseminated with Uchiha babies. Actually, now that she thought about it, the pink banshee wasn't anywhere to be found right now, "Where is the little sow anyway?"

"She learned how cling to surfaces on her first real attempt. So, to get her off my ass, I told her that if she kept training for the rest of the day, I would consider going on a date with her."

Naruko blinked incredulously, surprised that Sasuke would use such a tactic, of all things, "…Are you actually?"

"Fuck no." he barked out, causing Naruko to laugh loudly, patting her student on the back for his straight forward answer and lack of care for the pink meat shield.

Hearing the big kerfuffle that Naruko was making, Tsunami popped her head into the room. Her smile was cheerful and motherly, as she waved the ninja's into the kitchen, "Welcome back, Naruko-san! If you all want to join us, I just finished making dinner."

Walking forward with her head held high, Naruko happily marched for the sweet taste of food, "I'm feeling really hungry after that nap, so I hope you have enough food, Tsunami-chan~"

The dinner she had prepared was a simple one, a fish-centric dish with a few easy to grow vegetables and spices to flavor the bland meat of the local fish. But Naruko didn't really care what she would be eating, she had an Uzumaki metabolism, so she needed to eat like five times the normal level of calories. She couldn't afford to be picky when she's away from home- well she could, but she also needed to get on Tsunami's good side. Since she needed to get a mini spy network, the daughter of a well known- at least in Nami- carpenter would probably be able to get her some juicy info.

Everyone was at the table today- except Sakura, but no one cares- with Naruko and Sasuke getting larger than average sized portions of food, though Sasuke's plate didn't have near as much as his tutor's. Somehow, Kakashi managed to come to the kitchen, sit in the dining room chair, and even eat dejectedly- all while curled up into the same fetal position he'd been in since she got here.

Partway through the dinner, Sakura entered the home looking tired as all hell. The bags under her eyes made her look like a walking corpse, and if she was fully aware of anything, she'd probably try to fix her beauty crisis. But, just like a zombie, she groaned and shambled upstairs- though she only made it half way up before collapsing on the stairs, snoring louder than a tornado siren.

Tsunami looked confused and worried, "Oh my god, I forgot she was with you! Where has she been?"

Without even giving her crumpled body a glance, Sasuke just waved nonchalantly, "She's just been training, nothing crazy."

"Ahhh ha…. Um, are you going to help her?" She asked to the duo of genin, who just looked at each other before both going back to eating.

"Naaaah, she's fine~"

"Nope..."

From his seat, Inari glared at the ninjas, grumbling to himself, "I don't know why you're training, Gatou's just gonna kill you..."

Tsunami and Naruko both shot the kid a look, Tsunami's was of motherly disappointment and Naruko's was of bad bitch annoyance, "What the fuck'd you just say to me?"

"I said that you'll just die! I don't understand why you idiots are trying so hard! Gatou has too much power, you're just wasting everyone's time!"

Naruko chuckled slowly, eventually bursting out into laughter, "Oh, you poor boy. I killed an A-rank enemy singlehandedly. I doubt that some little midget with some money will put up more of a fight when I slaughter him and his family~"

Said poor boy glowered harder at the blonde, gritting his teeth, "What do you know!? Your just from some happy little village that doesn't have to deal with the same struggles we do! I bet you don't even have any worries in the world with that smug grin you wear all the time!"

Any pretense of happiness or mischievousness on Naruko's face dissipated, left staring blankly at the little shit, "I suppose you're right, I don't have a single worry in the world…" Inari's mouth turned up, happy that he put the smug girl in her place. But Naruko wasn't done yet, "Do you know why that is? It's because I'm strong. If I so choose, I could level this entire country with no effort. I'm stronger than 99% of people on this planet. But I wasn't always like this… Once upon a time, I was a little girl, who was weak and powerless. Unlike you, however, I didn't wallow in self-loathing and sadness, I built myself up to this godlike status, the world around me be damned…" Standing up, she made her way to leave, but not before stopping in front of Inari and whispering at him, "And just between you and me, I don't give a shit about your little country… But now, I'm gonna fuck up Gatou, and make you eat those shitty fucking words!"

As she was leaving the kitchen, Sasuke gave her a mild look. He hated the little kid's whole 'nothing matters' speech too, but he was concerned about Naruko's intentions, he's heard the things she's done when pissed, "Where are you going, McDowell?"

Turning around to give Sasuke a glimmer of her anger, she hissed lowly, "I'm going for a walk…" With that Naruko left, slamming the door behind her.

Putting a hand to his forehead, Sasuke knew whatever she was going to do was just going to be a massive headache…

* * *

**-A few hours later-**

* * *

After everyone had finished up eating, Tsunami and Sasuke carried Sakura into one of the guest bedrooms- Tsunami even left a bit of leftovers next to Sakura's bed so she could eat when she awakens.

Now everyone was back into their natural activities, with Sasuke watching over the family, Kakashi in the corner, and the carpenter's family all seated- with Tazuna having some post-dinner booze. Suddenly though, Naruko burst through the door, with a giant smile and coated in a thick layer of blood. And when I say 'thick layer', I mean really- it's a lot of blood, like an inordinate amount.

Her smile was matched by the jovial gait with which she walked, her feet skipping mindlessly as she walked up to the family table- all of whom where scared- and did a girlish spin, "I feel so much better now~ And little child, I've come bearing gifts~" Reaching into her sealed bag, she pulled out a decapitated head- the head of Gatou- and placed it on the table, "Merry Christmas~"

The civilian family all screamed at the top of their lungs at the disembodied head, while Kakashi was blinking feverishly and Sasuke was glowering at the blonde, "McDowell, I thought your were going for a walk!?"

"And I did~" Naruko said with a toothy smile that just seemed to shine against all the blood over her body.

"This-" He pointed at the head of the ex-dictator, his eyebrow twitching, "-is not 'taking a walk'."

Naruko simply smiled angelically, her expression still in cloud nine, "I take very _enthusiastic_ walks."

"What did you even do!?"

Naruko cupped her chin and had a bittersweet gleam in her eyes, sighing wistfully at the memory, "Ahhh… I remember it like it was yesterday."

_'__You literally left a few__ hours ago!'_

* * *

**Evil Flashback (Ooooooh *wiggles fingers*)**

* * *

_Naruko was childishly skipping through the woods, her attitude a bit better after leaving the little brat's house- and it had absolutely nothing to do with the thug she murdered and mind raped a few minutes ago, nothing at all._

_From said mind rape, she obtained the area where Gatou's business firm was. So here she was, skipping through the forest trail to get to the midget's place, when all of a sudden a man jumped out in front of her._

_He wasn't anything special, just a common brute with a shitty little sword that looked like it belonged more on a playground than the battlefield. He brandished the blade in a fashion that would seem intimidating if you had half a brain, his grip was sloppy and goofy- the blade held too far from his body to block any attacks effectively. Honestly, it was actually kind of sad to see…_

_He sauntered up to her with a big grin, his eyes traveling up and down her body with barely held back lust, "If you don't wanna die, girly, then get on your knees!"_

_Any normal person would probably feel scared by getting jumped in the middle of the forest, but Naruko didn't give a single fuck, and just gave him a cheeky grin, her voice impish and scandalous, "Sorry to disappoint, but I'm not your mother last night~"_

_He didn't take too kindly to the mocking tone she had, so he... well, umm… He tried? No, no- attempted? No, still not right- failed…? Yes! He failed in an epic magnitude, as he attempt to carve the young girl in half with the blade._

_The blonde witch didn't even have to try to avoid the attack- lazily stepping to the side during his swing- causing the blade to whiff and get stuck in the ground. Grabbing a hand full of hair, Naruko punched the man in the gut. Though she accidentally put too much power into it, since his neck detached from the now flying body- which splattered violently against the tree behind him, in a massive display of meat confetti._

_Giggling to herself as she dropped the head on the ground, Naruko really did have a problem with playing too rough sometimes…_

_The distraction aside, the midget's base was in sight now. So, as a little girl with the power to enslave all of humanity at her finger tips, she did the only relational thing there was to do._

_Naruko stormed the compound… while singing~_

* * *

_"Do-do-do-oo, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah~"_

_Naruko sung whimsically as she was surrounded by dozens of thugs, all bearing some kind of makeshift weaponry. Her foot slamming down on the stump of a man's neck, as she tried to shove the rest of the head into another corpse's ass._

_Despite the innocent voice and smile, her eyes were gleaming red with a look a pure murder as she moved on to the next victim._

_"We wonder are you ready to join us now, _

_hands in the air we will show you how, _

_come and try _

_caramel will be your guide~"_

_The clangs of metal against the ground resounded several times, as she dance-fought her way through the group. Her clawed hands tearing out throats and eviscerating stomachs open. The ground decorated with the spilling of blood and the lonely blades that longed for their masters._

_"So come and move your hips sing wha-a-a, _

_look at YouTube clips, do it La-la-la, _

_you and me _

_can sing this melody~"_

_Several powerful kicks ripped apart her adversaries. Her foot powered up by several spell, allowing her to tear everyone limb-from-limb with the shear force of her powerful blows. Legs broken, arms severed, heads blown off, and even some with more comical positions- head sideways, legs held high, and one armed. (Picasso lookin ass bitch)_

_"Oh-wa-a-a-a, dance to the beat, wave your hands together, _

_come feel the heat forever and forever, _

_listen and learn it is time for prancing, _

_now we are here with caramel dancing~"_

_Having ripped one man's arm off, Naruko held it high as she started to beat him to death._

_With his own arm._

_To the beat of her song._

_"O-o-oa-oa, O-o-oa-oa-a-a, O-o-oa-oa, O-o-oa-oa-a-a~"_

_Slamming the arm down with enough force to break it fully, she concluded her 'drum solo' with a happy exclamation, "Now we are here with caramel dancing~!"_

_Her head held high, she looked around to see that every thug was now huddled together, their weapons on the floor and the fear of god in their eyes. Her innocent demeanor returned in full, as she tilted her head to them with a curious pout, "Aww… Are you all calling uncle…? I was just starting to have fun, muuu…" Despite her cute exterior- her pouty lips, tear jerking wide eyes- Naruko was covered in the viscera of her fallen enemies, so it didn't really help in making the mob not shit their pants. Seeing the fear and lack of will to fight, she huffed childishly to herself, "Hugh, fine! Have it your way! I won't kill you, just tell me where the midget is."_

_Unanimously, the group of still living cannon fodder all began kowtowing, grateful for her good will. Slowly a hole in the wall of idiots began to form, leaving one very scared man huddled up in the corner all alone. His legion of hired help had left him defenseless, so he simply stared at her with the most frightened expression that could grace a man's face._

_Her happy attitude returned in full force, as she strode up to him with a pure skip in her step. Her body bounced in happiness with every step, as she saw huddle up in a very childish 'If I can't see her, she can't see me' fashion._

_Stepping up to the little bundle of joy, she giggled mischievously to herself, tapping on his shoulder with a pixilated grin on her face. He jumped up like a cat, his eyes widening beyond the scope of his glasses, a scream retched itself from his throat- though if Naruko had anything to say, it sounded more like it came from a six year old girl than a fully grown man. _

"_Ya done goofed, my dude~" She said jovially, as the man began to cower at her feet, his eyes looking up at her with horror plain to see.  
_

"_W-what are you…?" his voice was shaken and raspy- probably hoarse from the scream he just let out._

_And Naruko just giggled mindlessly at how pathetic the man looked; this was the dictator that subjugated an entire nation? Might as well fuck with him a bit more before the slaughter, "Oh, little old me? I'm just your run-o'-the-mill little girl with supernatural powers, a demon in her gut, a candy apple in her mouth, a song in her heart, and a mother who loves her~" Kneeling down, she met the man at eye level, the playfulness leaving her eyes. The sea of blue became icy, frozen over with an immense feeling of dread that pierced the man's soul, "But for you, Little Monopoly Man? I'm the Grim Reaper, come to claim your mortal being as my own."_

_The man's head bowed to her his hands clasping together, begging for mercy, "W-w-wait! D-do y-you want money? Servants? My business!? I'll give you anything; just, p-please, let me live!"_

_Naruko's hand cupped her cheek, her finger idly tapping away at her temple. A smug grin plastered on her face as she 'contemplated' his offer, "… Hm hm hmmmm… Alright, Monopoly Man, I won't kill ya~"_

_His eyes widened, staring at her with his glasses sliding off his face in shock. That actually worked!? Usually the 'bad guy' in these situations wouldn't be able to talk their way out of it. Swallowing a lump in his throat, he gave her the best kicked-puppy expression he could, "S-so, I get to keep living…?"_

_A cute giggle came out of Naruko's mouth, her finger going down to flick the man's nose in a rude and childish fashion, "Nope~"_

_Before Gatou could really react the quick rebuttal, Zero jumped from the with Kubikiribocho held high. Her wide toothy smile stretched ear-to-ear, and her wooden lungs let loose a mighty battle cry, "DECAPITATION!"_

_The fat midgets head came off cleanly, falling right onto Naruko's feet with a fountain of blood flying out at a ludicrous rate. Luckily, Naruko was already caked in blood, so the addition of more didn't really effect her at all._

_To the side, Chachazero landed cleanly, with her hands held up in a bit of flourish. Naruko clapped for the beautiful kill, whipping out a big card- from god knows where- with an emboldened '**10**' on the front. "That was great, Zero-chan~ Everyone give her a round of applause!" _

_Slowly the peons began to awkwardly clap along, some even went above and beyond to whistle and catcall the little doll- probably out of fear of Naruko killing them if they didn't comply. Zero bowed dramatically, her head leveling with her waist as she bathed in showman's praise, "Thank you, thank you~"_

_The little charade done, Naruko turned to the look at the cannon fodder, her eyes turning semi-serious; although it's hard for Naruko to not have her smug grin on. "Alright, you little wastes of atoms, listen up! You all work for me now, capiche?" Everyone in the crowd nodded their heads affirmatively, "Good, good~ Cuz, if ya said no, I would have boiled you alive in your mother's breast milk! He he~"_

_Grabbing the severed head of the dictator she just had killed, Naruko turned to leave before giving them all one last look, "I'll be back in a little while to do a full walk-through of the place. Don't go anywhere, or else little Zero-chan here will have full murderation rights to your supple bodies~"_

* * *

**End of the Flashback**

* * *

"Okay, McDowell… Let me get this straight…"

"Kay~"

"You went on a walk through the forest after dinner..."

"Yup~"

"You killed a power hunger tyrant…"

"Dead~"

"And then you took over his entire business..."

"...While singing. Jeez, it's like you didn't even listen when I was explaining this..." Naruko interrupted as she threw her hands in the air.

Sasuke's eyebrow was twitching, clearly irked by the sheer lack of care Naruko had about her actions, "And what are you going to do with the money?"

"Weeeell, I figured that I could work something out to get this country back on its feet. I'll probably pass management of Gatou's resources to someone here I trust. Honestly, I don't _really_ need the money or business, but I think it'd be a good investment to have, just in case~" Turning to look at the family- who's eyes were still flickering back to the severed head on their table every now and then- Naruko gave the MILF of the family a wink, her finger doing a come hither motion, "Speaking of which, Tsunami-chan, I think you'll do nicely! Run me a bath and I'll run the detail's by ya, kay?"

Tsunami's eyes widened even further, Naruko wanted _her_ to be in charge of Gatou's company!? Honestly, she figured that they'd have to slowly revitalize the economy once the bridge was built, but having Gatou's resources would be a godsend for that task. So, with a deep and humble bow, she thanked the little witch, "Thank you, thank you for this opportunity, Naruko-sama!"

Bowing just as lowly was the old drunkard, who seems to have sobered up a bit with tears streaming down his face, hands clapping together thankfully, "On behalf of everyone in Nami no Kuni, you have our eternal gratitude, Naruko-sama!"

"Yes, yes. I am great, humble, powerful, and kind. The gratitude is nice, but don't grovel so much, peons~" She said with a childishly, before turned to Inari with her smug grin on full display again, "I hope Tsunami-chan cleaned the plates, cuz you're gonna be consuming some alphabet soup, arranged in a fashion that will remind you to never fuck with Naruko U. McDowell ever again." Despite her cruel tone, and condescending attitude, a smile actually adorned the kid's face. Guess the happiness he feels for his home being liberated outweighs any negative emotions from her douchebaggery.

Regardless, Naruko had a date in a bath with a MILF, so with a motion of her hand, Naruko asked Tsunami to follow her. Both to get her hygiene back, and to discuss Tsunami's future at McDowell Shipping Corporation Inc. LLC… Even with a cute girl running it, that name is still dumb as fuck… Gotta fix that.

* * *

**After the Bridge Was Finished**

* * *

Naruko has never been a person for sappy good-byes, so she tried to ignore any of the mushy shit from the drunkard's family. But, she didn't get much choice in things, when the munchkin ran up and hugged her hip. Apparently from what Tsunami had told her, the kid started to idolize her… That shit's gonna get annoying when she comes in to check on her business in person, but… If Eva had taught her anything, another minion is always a positive thing. So, she let him continue, what's the worst that could happen?

…Don't answer that.

Also, the Drunkard and his band of merry men decided to name the bridge in her honor- choosing to call the bridge the "Great Bridge of McDowell." Which certainly had a nice ring to it, if Naruko had any say in the matter~

After returning home, the still depressed Kakashi told everyone that they could return home, while he went to go read smut alone in his house to get rid of the sadne- I mean... turn in his report to the Hokage... yeah.

With a brief wave good-bye to the meat-shield and the Uchiha, Naruko made her way back to the cottage.

Naruko entered the house to the sight of her Mistress in her nightgown, reading a book that seemed to be about the wildlife of Kumo. Man, Eva never stopped learning about her world, huh?

The chibipire glanced to the side to see her apprentice, a small smile gracing her face, "I see you've returned."

"Yep!" Naruko chirped, taking a seat next to her Mistress.

Setting a bookmark into the pages, Eva gave her full attention to the witch-in-training. Her eyes glared lightly, not with malcontent, but rather with a soul piercing sharpness, "I saw that Chachazero came with a girl earlier. I thought I told you to get spies, not prisoners?"

Naruko was sweating a bit from the look she got, but puffed her chest out in a show of some bravado, "Well, I did more than just get a few spies- I got a whole mafia under my control now, Mistress! The leader of it answers to me; her father, the best carpenter in the country is at my command; and even her son is already on his way to being my minion, just like Konohamaru! Besides, that girl is gonna be my runner for the monthly updates that my peons will be giving me, so it's even more efficient!"

Eva's eyes didn't leave Naruko's, they just kept bearing into Naruko with absolute focus. Humming to herself, the immortal loli gave the information a once over, deliberately holding out on giving her verdict to make the girl squirm more. Finally after a minute, Eva thought that Naruko had enough, and let a smile appear on her face once again, "I knew you wouldn't let me down, Naruko. And I'd even say you went above and beyond my requests!"

The weight on Naruko's shoulders instantly lifted, as she let loose a breath she didn't know that she was holding. "Thank you, Mistress!"

"No, no, no. None of that now, Naruko!" Eva said with a bit of chiding, "No more of that Mistress nonsense; I've allowed you to use my last name, and even personally saw to making you my heir. Now, you've fully proven to me that you are more than capable of handling the McDowell legacy. So from now on, call me 'Mother.' Alright, Naruko?"

"M-mother!?" Naruko asked, unsure of how to react. Sure, Eva always said that she was the heir to the McDowell name- and treated her like her own flesh and blood- but this just felt… Surreal. She wanted Naruko to become her daughter, and frankly Naruko couldn't handle her heart right now. Her chest felt like it was going to explode- whether it be from joy or shock, Naruko didn't know.

Seeing the look on her daughter's face, the vampiric woman pressed her finger to Naruko's lips, lightly shushing her, "Don't worry too much about it, Naruko. I'm sure you'll get used to this arrangement soon. For now, go visit your new toy, I'm sure she's curious where you are~"

Standing up a bit stiffly, Naruko nodded her head, "I-I'll go do that. T-thank you… Mom."

Turning around, Naruko exited robotically with a bit of haste, leaving Eva alone to keep reading with a soft smile. Honestly, Eva was trying to slowly edge her relationship Naruko into a more mother-daughter relationship, but it seems that she wasn't able to handle getting the news all at once. She even briefly wondered if, maybe she had messed up by moving too fast.

But, before she could worry herself too much, a massive cry could be heard from deeper into the cottage. Naruko let out a massive screech of joy and happiness, causing the chibipire to sweatdrop a bit. _'Well, __nevermind.__ I guess __she _did_ take the news well__…'_

* * *

**Chapter 2 change log:**

** General:**

**-General dialog tweaks**

**-Changing dialog with certain characters to keep them less crass**

**-More Minor latin fixes**

** Characters:**

**-Expanding a bit on Sasuke's attitude**

**-Giving Eva a bit more motherly affection**

**-Making the Narrator more humanistic (This is just a spur of the moment thing, but it might evolve into something fun ;3)**

** Scenes:**

**-Added dialog between Eva and Naruko before her mission**

**-Added a strange 4th wall breaking section to the interrogation scene for the meme of it**

**-Changed the training scene to make Kakashi sad ****(P.S. If your worried about me being too hard on Kakashi, don't worry, he'll get some love soon)**

**-Mocking Sakura more (because no one cares)**

**-Expanded on the dinner scene**

**-Changed the Flashback to be in third-person**

**-Extra detailing for the Flashback sequence**

**-Added an additional scene in the flashback of Naruko ****acquiring Gatou's forces for herself.  
**

**-Expanded a bit on the scene of Naruko returning with Gatou's head**

**-Added more to the final scene of Naruko returning home (Including her being recognized as the official daughter of Eva)**

**And that's a wrap for today folks, hopefully I didn't miss any big changes that need to be addressed, but i think that's all of em. (this really is turning more into a games patch notes as this story goes on)**

**Next chapter we get into the Chunin Exams oooh fun~ Although, fair warning, that chapter in the OG version was almost 20k words alone, so I'll prolly break it up if I add enough detail to make it extra thick.  
**

**Also, next chapter should start us on the sexual themes, so that's nice! I'll try and make the transition into the smut of this story more... Sleek and smooth than the original version. Though, I get the feeling that I'll be changing the sex scenes a lot, I'm not really the kinda gal that's into bondage, so Idk... **

**kk, that's it! Au revoir, and have a nice day! If ya like this story, drop a like and favorite. If ya have an idea for the story that you'd like to see, let me know and I'll consider it. other than that, peace!~**

**ps, one of my personal favorite changes will be shown off next chapter, so get ready for something interesting :3**


End file.
